Deceitful husband

(10 Posts)
fedupandunsure Sun 29-May-16 18:37:36

Been with husband many years, at the start he lied to me about a few ex girlfriends and that he was still involved in there life's, nothing major we got over it if sorts, but every couple of years more episodes of lying come up from messaging women, lying about where he is(in the pub instead of work) and obsessive/secretive porn use.
So as you can imagine we have serious trust issues, for the last two years we have been getting on beautiful, enjoying raising our children just happy and contented.
Until today when I have discover every time I have been at work and he is looking after our children, he has been using porn and signed up to tinder. He says he loves me but how can we keep going forward when it always reverts back to him lying? I really don't know what to do.

fedupandunsure Sun 29-May-16 20:42:56

Please anyone? Sorry for the rambling posting from my phone

TheSpottedZebra Sun 29-May-16 20:45:53

Oh no. I'm afraid that this would be the end of the relationship, for me. The Trust would be gone.

Why don't you get this thread moved to the Relationships board? This is a quiet topic!

Donethat16 Sun 29-May-16 20:48:26

What would you like to do? Leave or do you think you can overcome your trust issues. There is no relationship without trust. So even if you try to move foward and even if he says he promises not to watch porn or lie, I don't think it will work.

fedupandunsure Sun 29-May-16 20:56:29

I think with the children involved I'm always hoping he will changed, but I just feel so worthless and low now. I really thought he had changed and wanted to be a good dad and father, but how can I leave him in charge of the children whilst I'm at work when he does that when they are about?
I really do love him but I have spent the past few months coming off antidepressants and finally felt so good just for him to do that again.

Rowanhart Sun 29-May-16 20:58:43

This would be a line in the sand to me.

Tinder is signing up to meet women.
To me the cheating had started the moment he had signed up for it.

fedupandunsure Sun 29-May-16 21:06:23

That's what I'm thinking now. it just seems such a big step with the kids and frightening to if I'm honest.i just really didn't know exactly what tinder was and need/want to make sure I'm not over reacting or was not thinking straight after coming of medication. Thankyou for all the replies

Rowanhart Sun 29-May-16 22:26:24

Thinking about you and hope you figure out what happens next.

fedupandunsure Thu 02-Jun-16 12:18:25

Just a update to the kind posters who helped me. He admitted he had a one night stand through meeting online,I decided that I'm worth much more then him treating me like that, so the children and I are currently camping at my mothers whilst I house hunt, sort out childcare and tax credits.i finally realise living without trust and respect is no life at all only wish I had done it ten years early. I have a meeting on Tuesday with a solicitor and there is definitely no going back I have had enough of him. Thankyou again

MoreGilmoreGirls Thu 02-Jun-16 12:36:58

I missed your original post but really feel for you OP. If it means anything you are doing the right thing, you deserve so much more than this lying cheat. I hope you've got support of friends and family in real life. Good luck flowers

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