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Email from DP's ex

(66 Posts)
spinningchair Wed 11-May-16 13:05:35

So I received an email at work from DP's ex saying that she has some messages from him that I "should see". Nothing else, just a one liner.

We are not friends, we have never been friends and I haven't seen her for years as she lives in another city, and DP does all the collections and drop offs with ex. She had my email address from years ago when I sent her directions to something that she was dropping her DD off at.

I'm tempted to ignore her, she's a nasty bit of work, and has been provoked (I guess) by recent discussions about sharing childcare and money (not going in her favour), and could well just be being nasty and trying to stir up trouble.

The trouble is that there is history - DP has cheated on me with her before (once a long time ago. We broke up as a result and were apart for a year or so before starting a better relationship, which is going well). So as much as I'd like to just shrug this off as her trying to cause trouble, it makes me very uneasy, and I'm curious to see what these messages are.

I have asked DP, and he says she's just angry with him about changes to childcare (he has a new job and needs to reduce maintenance slightly), and is trying to cause trouble.

So WWYD? Ignore her, or reply and see what she says?

AnyFucker Wed 11-May-16 13:07:41

I would see what she says.

Whisky2014 Wed 11-May-16 13:11:36

Me too

LilQueenie Wed 11-May-16 13:13:46

see what she has to say.

AnyFucker Wed 11-May-16 13:14:22

Any accusations she makes, ask for proof.

Costacoffeeplease Wed 11-May-16 13:17:29

Either it's because he's done it before and she thinks you'll believe her - or it's true - I'd want to see them

WellErrr Wed 11-May-16 13:17:46

What they said

Sgoinneal Wed 11-May-16 13:18:07

I wouldn't have alerted your DP - if anything has been going on he will have been straight on to her. I would just call her bluff - 'if I should see them, why haven't you sent me them?'

QuiteLikely5 Wed 11-May-16 13:18:37

She's obviously got some proof so you may as well ask to see it.

I wonder if she's been blackmailing your dp and now she's doing this?

Reply: evidence???

FellOutOfBedTwice Wed 11-May-16 13:32:56

Yeah, I'd be asking for evidence too.

NoCapes Wed 11-May-16 13:35:18

Yep I'd have to see it

alltouchedout Wed 11-May-16 13:37:11

I'd want to see the messages.

SaveSomeSpendSome Wed 11-May-16 13:37:29

I would want to see them

Goingtobeawesome Wed 11-May-16 13:38:36

What everyone has already said. No brainer really as he has form.

Pooseyfrumpture Wed 11-May-16 13:39:14

I want to see them too - the problem is though, that she wants you to beg ask her for them.

I'd leave it. For a bit. If it's something juicy that she thinks will stir up trouble between you, she won't be able to wait and will forward them on anyway.

MrPony Wed 11-May-16 13:40:57

Yep, as everyone else says. I would want to see them.

Lighteningirll Wed 11-May-16 13:41:38

I'd tell her to fuck off then I would ask him if you are still in doubt then the trust has gone anyway I think if she had anything she would already have sent it and she's bluffing any response other than fuck off plays into her hands

caitlinohara Wed 11-May-16 13:42:37

You will always wonder if you don't check it out. Ask if they are recent messages or if they relate to what happened before. If they are from before, not relevant I guess because you have moved on from there. If more recent, yes you need to know.

flanjabelle Wed 11-May-16 13:42:55

Yep, sorry once burned twice shy. See what she has to say op.

spinningchair Wed 11-May-16 13:43:20

I guess this was inevitable. Have replied asking her to send them.......eeeeeek! Bloody hate giving her the satisfaction though.

Jackie0 Wed 11-May-16 13:52:23

I bet she's loving this.
My advice would have been to ignore but it would be mighty hard to resist .
Unless your dp is cheating with her , which seems unlikely what on earth could it be?
Has she evidence of him disrespecting you or criticising you in some way?
I'd have left it well alone , her motive is to cause trouble and I don't go looking for trouble.
Hope it's something daft op.

spinningchair Wed 11-May-16 15:23:57

Thanks jackie0.
She's not replied yet.

SnoozeButtonAbuser Wed 11-May-16 20:42:23

I imagine she's now giving your dh a last chance to give her some more money or something before sending you the messages, otherwise she'd have just sent them, wouldn't she; what would be the point of "I have something you should see" without actually sending it? Hope you don't have to wait long, with that history I'd believe her too.

Chinks123 Wed 11-May-16 20:46:27

My best friend once got a text like this from her then bf's ex and thought she was just stirring. She texted back saying "go on then" and got hit with proof of his cheating.

Another friend has been sent a message from her dp's ex saying the same thing but she wouldn't reply. I told her to ask for proof and she wouldn't, saying that she was bluffing but I think deep down she knew he'd cheated and she didn't want to admit it.

I'd definitely want to know!

pieceofpurplesky Wed 11-May-16 20:48:10

It's all a bit close ... Did you he chest in her with you too?

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