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Hen party

(23 Posts)
lucy130483 Wed 27-Apr-16 22:54:11

Hey everyone. I'm getting married next month (v excited ☺️). For my hen do, ive had a spa day with my three best friends and a spa evening with my mum and sister. I also asked my sister to organise a get together with my aunties and cousins so she's arranged a meal out and drinks and dancing this Saturday. BUT I really, really don't want to go. My son is being v clingy and unsettled at the mo and I don't want to leave him and my fiancé is anxious about having him by himself. I'm running my own business and have a ton of stuff to do for that. And I'm not a drink and dance type of person either. I wish I'd not asked my sister to organise anything 😔😔 Is there anyway I can get out of it?? Thanks.

lucy130483 Wed 27-Apr-16 22:55:22

I actually feel sick at the thought of going 😔😔

sizeofalentil Wed 27-Apr-16 22:56:19

Is everyone local? Have people booked time off work/travelled? Will anyone be out of pocket? If yes to any of these, you should probably go.

Laura280315 Wed 27-Apr-16 22:56:29

Talk to your sister and explain your reasons I'm sure she will understand and maybe go for a quiet dinner instead X

Whatamuckingfuddle Wed 27-Apr-16 22:56:48

When is it? I expect most people will understand - you can postpone til after the wedding if they're disappointed, but evenings can be cancelled and better to do so sooner rather than later

RaeSkywalker Wed 27-Apr-16 22:56:51

I don't think you can really, especially as you asked for her help! Just go for the dinner and a couple of drinks. How old is your DS- could you put him to bed before you went out?

Whatamuckingfuddle Wed 27-Apr-16 22:57:34

Sorry, I've just seen its this Saturday, let them know tomorrow

Middleclassmumnetter Wed 27-Apr-16 22:57:45

Could it be downgraded to just a meal instead?

RaeSkywalker Wed 27-Apr-16 22:58:56

I see I'm in the minority here! There's no point going if you're going to be upset by it. But you really need to decide and let them know now- it's only a couple of days away- people will be more likely to be annoyed the longer you leave it.

lucy130483 Wed 27-Apr-16 23:02:34

Everyone is within half an hour of the venue and haven't had to book time off or pre-make travel arrangements.
My sister has paid a deposit for the meal.
I'd want everyone else to go still go out and enjoy themselves and I'd reimburse my sister for my deposit.
My son is 9 months and is struggling to settle for anyone but me. The meal is at 7pm and his bedtime is 8pm.
My fiancé doesn't want me to go either as he's so worried 😔😔

Iambubbles86 Wed 27-Apr-16 23:05:02

Why is your fiance so worried and incapable of looking after (presumably his) 9 month old. That's concerning!

lucy130483 Wed 27-Apr-16 23:07:57

Yes he's definitely capable of looking after the baby but he won't settle for anyone but me and my fiancé (and me) is worried that he'll get so upset and worked up

Middleclassmumnetter Wed 27-Apr-16 23:08:07

If no one will be financially or otherwise put out, be honest say it's a bit too much with DS, business, wedding planning (presumably) and do they mind if you cancelled. Maybe mention that they could still go if they were looking forward to it and have a drink for you!

Only1scoop Wed 27-Apr-16 23:13:55

You asked her to arrange it and now you aren't going.

To be honest I think it's bang out of order.

Presuming your DC is with his father then I don't see the problem.

Only1scoop Wed 27-Apr-16 23:15:25

What did you do with DC when you had 'spa evening'?

Presumably you don't have to have a late night?

lucy130483 Wed 27-Apr-16 23:17:11

The baby was with my fiancé for my spa evening but he wasn't going through this clingy unsettled screaming phase

Xmasbaby11 Wed 27-Apr-16 23:21:46

You asked for it to be organised and people have made plans. It's a one off - you should go.

Children do go through clingy phases but you can't put your life on hold.

lucy130483 Wed 27-Apr-16 23:32:12

Thanks for all of your advice guys. I still don't know what I'm gonna do but I know I need to make a decision asap.

Babymamamama Wed 27-Apr-16 23:36:21

Um why would you expect other people to go along to something which you wouldn't be at. When you asked for it to be arranged for you. Maybe they dont fancy it either but were doing it support you? I think you should bite the bullet and go. You may even have fun.

lucy130483 Wed 27-Apr-16 23:54:05

I'm 99% certain that my family would still go and would enjoy themselves. They all love to get drunk and have a good dance, whereas I don't.
I know I asked for it to be organised but I know that I won't be able to relax and enjoy myself, and not just because of the baby.

Squiff85 Thu 28-Apr-16 21:54:34

I would be most concerned that your fiancé is so unwilling to look after your son! Surely he should ne encouraging you to and tell you he and your son will be fine, even if inside he is a bit worried! The worst that'll happen is your son cries...then falls asleep!

Only1scoop Thu 28-Apr-16 21:56:25

Sounds like you've made up your mind

Poor show IMO

Fishface77 Sat 21-May-16 09:18:38

Did you end up going op.
Your fiancé sounds ridiculous if he's unable to look after his own son!

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