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To work or not to work..........

(8 Posts)
twocultures Tue 26-Apr-16 22:30:25

I'm standing before a big decision (big for me anyway)
We've been struggling with money recently, I decided to look for work however I'm reluctant to leave my 11mo DS , as great as I know his grandparents will be with him I've seen it with his older cousin, he will not be brought up like we'd like (I'm not BU or being over the top its just that as parents we both feel that at least one of us should be there with him for as long as possible).
I've got a possible job offer (not confirmed yet but 99%) but like I said I'm a bit reluctant to make that final step... We also have a dog that no one could watch whilst we work
Spoke to DP today as he could see I look a bit all over the place, he said that its up to me what I'd like to do but he gave me another option which is him putting more hours in which he knows he can do and that way he is 100% he will be able to provide for us all and I could continue to take care of DS for as long as I wanted to or until he starts nursery(whichever comes first) and then I could focus on a career.
He says that he honestly does not mind as he believes that one of us should be there for DS. But still I can't help but feel guilty
What would you do in my place?

BackforGood Tue 26-Apr-16 23:03:19

It's very personal.
I, for one, am very glad I have worked all my life. I was fortunate in that, after dc2 was born, I was able to opt to work 3/5 of a week - best of both worlds.

If your dp is working longer and longer hours, how would you feel about never seeing him ? It's a long, long day on your own with a baby if your partner works very long hours. How would he feel about rarely seeing his dc ?

twocultures Wed 27-Apr-16 00:02:59

The only thing is he already works long hours, he's self employed (business owner) and already works long hours btw. And by him working longer hours I mean only 1 or 2hrs here and there to try and increase sales. He's happier to do that because he knows he can bring in more by doing that than I can working full time...

sizeofalentil Fri 29-Apr-16 02:20:07

You could always take the job and quit after six months if you feel like it isn't working.

But what would you do with your dog?

It sounds like you aren't too ready to return to work yet. Could you economise/ make money in other areas eg. Airbnb? Maybe you could apply for part time work instead if this it full time?

Pisssssedofff Fri 06-May-16 21:04:47

I quit my job after a month because despite them bending over backwards to accommodate me it just couldn't work. I'm still glad I tried though or else I'd always be wondering.
Just a thought .... Could you work for DH ?

twocultures Tue 10-May-16 11:23:42

We considered me working for him but I worry that I won't feel like I've got that independence and money for myself...I'm concerned that I'll feel like I have to give reasons if I buy myself something etc
And that I'd feel guilty because in the end it's kind of our money....does that make sense ?
I know DP is not like that at all but it's just me I guess.

Pisssssedofff Tue 10-May-16 13:05:01

I'd give it a go it's you're best bet from what you've written

Boiing Tue 10-May-16 21:58:09

I had to make this decision. I chose not to work for the time being, and am so glad I did. This time with my son has been the best in my life (and means he is brought up exactly how I want). And it's very very hard for a child that age to understand mum leaving, no matter how great the childcare.

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