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Feeling torn :(

(3 Posts)
CreativeBee Sat 23-Apr-16 15:54:52

Ok so last year in May DH decided to visit his home country and when we discussed it then, I said yes, he booked his flight but then I got upset and said I didn't want him to go. Our children were also against him going so he cancelled. Anyway his brother is getting married in a few days and although he didn't ask I knew he really wanted to go so I said he should go to the wedding. He was elated and said he'd go for 5 days and I said he should go for the week. He's feeling conflicted because we have a daughter who has a disability and I have recently had a back injury and I'm in a lot of pain (can't walk much). My mum and SIL have said they would help out and I've got the children to also let him go happily. The thing is I'm a very negative person and suffer from anxiety, the only reason I got upset about him going the first time was because I was scared something would happen to him. I thought I'd got over those feelings but now he's seriously thinking about going I'm getting really anxious. I feel so guilty because I know it means the world to my DH but I can't help how I feel. He does know how I'm feeling and he knows I suffer from anxiety and he said "if bad things are going to happen, they will happen anywhere but if you feel really uneasy about it, I won't go." I hate the way I'm feeling but don't know how to deal with it and let him go knowing I'm ok sad

Daisyandbabies Sun 24-Apr-16 20:23:15

I would 100% let him go without making him feel guilty. It's his home and it's not like he's moving there, it's a very short time. You are also really lucky that you have help there too. Bad things can happen everywhere...what if you told him to stay and then he got run over crossing the road and it wouldn't have happened if he was away? You really can't live like that.
My husband is going away for 5 weeks to work this week. I have 2 toddlers and no help at all, all our family live abroad. I also suffer with anxiety and it's taking everything I have to remain calm about it. I can't stop my husband from living his life and fingers crossed, I will get through it...and so will you. Rely on others to help you, stay busy and the week will fly by

CreativeBee Sun 24-Apr-16 23:23:08

Thank you so much Daisyandbabies. What you have said makes complete sense. I am going to have to breathe through this and you're right bad things do happen everywhere. I feel really ungrateful, knowing I have all this help and there's someone else who's not got that help. You're one strong person X

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