Should I leave DD with a babysitter? (child-free wedding)

(2 Posts)
Bearlet Tue 19-Apr-16 14:24:49

My husband, 13-month-old daughter, mother-in-law and I are flying to the US in a couple of weeks for my brother’s wedding. It’s an evening do – ceremony followed by reception, both at the same venue. Our plan was to take DD to the ceremony, meal and a bit of the party, and for either DH or me to take her back to the hotel when she got really tired, put her to bed, and miss the rest of the party.

I spoke to DB last night and it turns out that DB and soon-to-be SIL don’t want children at the reception at all. They’re hoping that one of us will take DD back to the hotel (which is at the other end of town from the wedding venue) between the ceremony and the meal, leave her with a babysitter, and then return to the reception.

DD is not a great sleeper. It takes ages to get her to sleep and she wakes up crying several times in the night, sometimes within the first few hours. I still BF her sometimes after night wakings. We have never left her with a babysitter (we’ve hired one during the day a couple of times while we were present so that we could get stuff done, but we’ve never actually left her alone with anyone, much less at bedtime). It will also be her first transatlantic flight, and I have no idea how the jetlag will affect her (we’re actually arriving 3 days before the wedding, so there will be a bit of time to acclimatise).

I’m really torn. On the one hand, I am uncomfortable with the thought of leaving my jetlagged baby in an unfamiliar hotel room with a near stranger, and us not even close enough to get there quickly if she becomes distressed. It would be different if the wedding were at the hotel itself, but it’s not. There’s the option of trying to book the babysitter for one of the previous days so that DD can get to know her, which would make me feel slightly better about the whole thing, but it still doesn’t sit entirely right with me. On the other hand, the only obvious alternative is for one of us to go back to the hotel with her before the meal, which seems such a shame – we will have travelled halfway across the world for this wedding, and it’s clearly important to DB, DSIL and the rest of the family to have us there.

What would you do? Please reassure me that I’m being weird and PFB and that it’s completely fine to leave DD with a babysitter under these circumstances…

(I should add that I am in no way criticising DB and DSIL. It was just a bit of a misunderstanding. DB told me ages ago that they were sorting out babysitters for the children, but I thought it was optional – just DB and DSIL being helpful and finding babysitters for those who wanted to enjoy the party without DC. Apparently they have already told other people with DC that the DC would only be welcome at the ceremony, so I completely understand that they don’t want to have different rules for different people. And even if we had known earlier, it wouldn’t have made any difference to the actual dilemma; we would just have had more time to come up with a plan.)

MumOnTheRunCatchingUp Tue 19-Apr-16 14:34:58

I'd just not go at all! All that money and worry for what?

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