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Friendship ended

(4 Posts)
AnnieFrench2 Thu 31-Mar-16 08:38:25

My friend of over 30 years ended our friendship a few years back. It started gradually by being too busy to meet up, to not returning my calls and then to stop buying birthday and Christmas presents. There was never an argument, cross word spoken, misunderstanding between us and she chose not to discuss her feelings with me. She simply made a decision and ended it. Oddly around the time this happened she friended me on fb as I had just joined. She has since posted some hurtful things about the meaning of friendship and constantly updates her news feed with 'amazing catch ups' with various friends. She also threw herself a big birthday party and invited so many people from the village and friends but not me. I came to the conclusion that the friendship had run its course as we had been friends since childhood. However she then rekindled friendships with other mutual childhood friends. Without wanting to sound paranoid some of it feels deliberately directed at me. I no longer follow her on fb and have even had counselling. What makes this especially hard is that she lives close by as do our parents (small Cornish village) and I run the risk of bumping into them which is awkward (elephant in the room). Counselling has helped however it hasn't quite heeled my wounds and I also feel humiliated and embarrassed that she no longer wants our friendship. The reason I post this now is because I dreamt about her last night so clearly it's still on my mind. I see other people have posted similar threads over the years so I would appreciate any advice on how to get over this and truly move on.

TowerRavenSeven Fri 01-Apr-16 00:15:41

I'm so sorry. That is very hard. I was in a similar situation where the friend and I had a massive argument about things that I had no idea were even brewing. I was almost obsessive about it because instead of handling it like an adult she would just avoid me.

What really helped was to finally get her one the phone and talk to her. She obviously wasn't up for any friendship rekindling. That made me 'wake up'. Contact her. She is either going to want to stay in contact or not. Once you 'really' hear that she is (or is not) interested you can heal. Good luck, it's very hard!!

FriendofBill Fri 01-Apr-16 00:28:44

I wouldn't contact her. If she wanted to talk to you m, she would.

You dreamed of her because your mind is trying to make sense of what's happening. Rejection sucks.

It's up to her who she like/invites/spends time with. Leave it at that.
If there hasn't been a cross word, try to think and speak kindly about her.

If you bump into her, or you see her family keep it friendly and light.

I would look at it from this perspective. I don't like everyone, and everyone doesn't like me. What others think of me is up to them and none of my business! And vice versa.

Rejection sucks and you'll get over it.


plainjanine Thu 07-Apr-16 14:34:03

Sorry this has happened to you, it must be difficult, particularly in a small place.

On the practical side, I would change the privacy settings on all of your facebook posts, pics etc.. to exclude her, as you feel like some of the facebook posts are directed at you. That or block her completely.

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