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Present from friend WWYD?

(21 Posts)
NinaSimoneful Sun 13-Mar-16 13:20:21

DH and I have a very lovely friend who did a very nice thing and bought us a pram for our new baby who is due very soon. And we really are very grateful despite what I'm about to say next. I don't really think the pram is suitable sad

I feel awful because obviously getting us a pram was a really lovely thing to do but I just don't think it's sturdy enough for a newborn and it also doesn't really lie flat - just nearly flat - and there's no hard 'shell' to keep baby in, just flaps of fabric.

Our friend has said that she's kept the receipt so we can return it but we really don't want to risk hurting her by rejecting the gift. WWYD? Keep the pram and use it (but as little as possible because you're a bit wary of it), keep it but also get another (sturdier) pram or bite the bullet and tell friend that you really appreciate the gift but you don't quite trust the pram? Or, clever fourth option that I haven't thought of?

wonderpants Sun 13-Mar-16 13:23:26

I think it is an odd present! Choosing a pram is such a personal thing, depends on your height, your car, where you walk etc.
They must be a good friend to buy such a gift. If you can, ask if you can exchange it as you had your heart set on whichever one you wanted.
If you aren't able to do that, use it as a spare!

Iguessyourestuckwithme Sun 13-Mar-16 13:27:49

What pram is it?

PommelandCantle Sun 13-Mar-16 13:29:40

As you say lovely gift from friend. Is this your first baby?

What are you using pram for? As you mention doesn't lie flat, newborns really should as they have a habit of sliding to one side if not flat. Is it the sort you could buy an attachment for car seat/carrycot so you could still use when baby a bit older?

Guessing friend does t have much experience of pram use. Maybe you could say you have done some research and read reviews for the model and realise it won't meet all your needs so could you all go together to choose one.

Icklepickle101 Sun 13-Mar-16 13:31:19

Could you possibly say it doesn't fit in your car but you are so grateful you would love to go together and choose one that is more suited to your needs?

NotTHEBupcake Sun 13-Mar-16 13:32:16

Could you use the excuse that it won't fit into the boot of your car, so although it's lovely, could you please have the receipt so you can exchange it for a slightly different one which will fit?

RupertPupkin Sun 13-Mar-16 13:32:50

Could you tell her you discovered d
your DH/Mum had already bought one as a surprise? And could you exchange pram for x item which would be really useful?

Coconutty Sun 13-Mar-16 13:33:17

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Purplebluebird Sun 13-Mar-16 13:33:41

You say it doesn't lie flat - could you use it when your baby is older, if it's easy to fold etc?

Coconutty Sun 13-Mar-16 13:34:14

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pinkheart5915 Sun 13-Mar-16 13:40:28

What a strange thing to buy without asking the parents first. prams are a very personal choice, and every parents has there own taste.
I assume this was a good friend? Could you just say that your very grateful for the gift and you do feel bad but you are your partner have spoken about it and you aren't sure the pram will be suitable

SoupDragon Sun 13-Mar-16 13:49:33

I'm reasonably sure that the "suitable from birth" pram I had for my DC didn't have a hard shell and was only nearly flat. A hard shell certainly isn't a necessity.

Does the pram say suitable from birth? Is it a reputable brand?

RebootYourEngine Sun 13-Mar-16 14:00:08

What's the make of the pram?

I dont think I would have liked someone else buying me a pram. It is such a personal thing.

NinaSimoneful Sun 13-Mar-16 15:39:35

Thanks for all the replies, really appreciate it.

I'd like to respond to some questions but don't want to say the exact pram in case it outs me. Also, to be completely honest, she did suggest that she'd get us this pram. It's only when I set it up that I realised the problems. DH hasn't had a good look at it yet, must pin him down tonight to do that. His opinion might alter when he gets a proper look. For one, it's quite short and he's taller than me so would probably be uncomfortable pushing it very far.

It does say 'suitable from birth' and DH says that they wouldn't be able to sell it - and market it as suitable from birth - if it wasn't safe. Baby products would be heavily tested. It folds up really small so I don't think we'd get away with saying it didn't fit in the boot. But that would be a good idea. Although if we got a different pram we'd almost certainly get one that's bigger than this one, so maybe couldn't say that it's too big.

pommel I doubt you could attach very much of anything to the pram, it's quite flimsy. This isn't our first child and in fact I'd thought about getting one of those ride on boards for our three year old but this pram most likely won't take the weight. The pram we used for the three year old was bought third hand and I don't know if it'd last long enough for a fourth.

purple It would be fine for an older child, but I'd still worry about it not being very sturdy. It seems much more suited to a lightweight buggy you'd bring on holiday for a 12 - 18 month old.

I was thinking that if we were to go down the route of getting a different pram that I would say that my parents gave us one. I thought maybe another option would be to try hard to find a good pram with a similar colour scheme and maybe our friend won't notice that it's not the same one? That's risky though, and dishonest. She could find out and be double hurt because we'll have rejected the pram and lied about it.

Still not sure what we should do but decision will have to be made pretty soon. I'm just glad I set it up to check it rather than waiting til baby's here. Thanks for giving us something to chew on everyone.

madmother1 Sun 13-Mar-16 15:45:33

Your friend has told you that she's kept the receipt in case it's not suitable, so change it! I've told people that as well and meant it, when I've given a gift.

Nan0second Sun 13-Mar-16 15:54:55

However if it's a baby jogger city mini, you should keep it because they're amazing! (And get a graco soft carrycot insert or a Phil and teds cocoon (eBay!) for baby to lay in for the first bit - they're really cosy!

Roseformeplease Sun 13-Mar-16 15:58:26

Say that DH's height (and sore back) mean that you need to change it. Apologise and then make a huge fuss of her for being so understanding.

NinaSimoneful Sun 13-Mar-16 17:10:34

I like it rose

SmallBee Sun 13-Mar-16 17:19:41

DH is very tall and I'm short so we had limited options for prams. Would definitely go with Rose's idea!

Roseformeplease Mon 14-Mar-16 12:41:36

Let us know how you got on.

GrumpyMummy123 Tue 15-Mar-16 13:42:54

I think you have to say something! I got a bit obsessive with the whole pram choosing thing when I was expecting. I'd have been absolutely gutted if anyone just bought me one.... unless it was the exact specification I had in mind!!!
I'm not too fussy about most other baby stuff but we walk everywhere and was a massive deal to me.
For me to have a proper carrycot suitable for sleeping during day and over night at Grannys, to be able to have parent facing seat then be able to change to outward facing, fit in the car, but sturdy enough to go off road, small enough for short arse me and extendable to tall DH etc etc etc... It's a pretty personal thing choosing the right pram/ buggy.

If I were you I'd have to agree with Rose and pick a valid reason that wont hurt their feelings and take your friend up on the offer to return/ exchange it. Saying it's not tall enough for your other half is a good one as it's something you can't predict unless you try it out. Saying it's too flimsy would probably sound like you're saying it's not good enough.

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