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had enough. feel like ending it all.

(19 Posts)
myheadisamess Sun 13-Mar-16 00:57:46

just that really. going through divorce. dh being a twat. ds play invites not being reciprocated. dd relationship gone pear shaped. generally feel like no one gives a damn and i'm a crap mum.
I've come off all social media. honestly can't see a way forwards.

Nobodyspecialanymore Sun 13-Mar-16 01:02:36

Can you call the samaritans? It helps to talk to someone when things get so twisted. Everything might be tough right now, but these things will pass. Perhaps you should go talk to your doctor about depression, you don't have to feel like this, and suicide is not the answer. These are not insurmountable problems, sweetie. I'm sure you are a lovely mom, you aren't thinking straight right now.

AlleyCatandRastaMouse Sun 13-Mar-16 01:07:06

I am so sorry things are so shit at the moment. This is a time for real life communication from where ever you can get it. Family, friends or the Samaritans. You have 2 children whose future is dependant on you getting past this horrid phase of your life. You will get past it. You need support and you will get past it. Your life has huge value but while you are struggling to see it yourself use your children for your strength.

Simmi1 Sun 13-Mar-16 01:08:38

Oh no OP just hang on in there. I know it's tough - I am also going through a really bad patch. You can't end it all though - your children need you. Don't worry about play dates reciprocation etc - just don't invite the ones who don't reciprocate. How old is your DD? We all go through relationship difficulties. Can you take some time out to treat yourself?

antimatter Sun 13-Mar-16 01:09:00

I don't know if your experience is similar but has your ex moved out?
are you living separate lifes or still tangled up financially?

once my ex moved out I was able to start getting my head together

myheadisamess Sun 13-Mar-16 01:21:11

no reciprocal plays at all. seems like the crowd has moved on and left him behind. just don't have the energy for it. dh doesn't seem to notice/care.
dh still living here. can't afford to buy him out so will be like this til we sell up.

he stayed out all night last night. no call/text. just didn't come back from work. back at lunchtime today. just feel like life is out of control. don't need to know his whereabouts but surely courtesy to know if/when he'll be home? it totally impacts on my life!

AlleyCatandRastaMouse Sun 13-Mar-16 01:25:33

Myhead you need to get time for yourself when your husband comes in the door you be ready to leave and leave the kids with him and do something for yourself.

The play date thing is shit but tbh ds has ASD and no one plays with him so no play dates. You just need to plug away at it as we do but it is not one to focus your energy on at the moment.

myheadisamess Sun 13-Mar-16 01:27:52

the thing is, i keep coming back to the same place. that i can't go on. its getting harder and harder to get past it.
it does bother me that i'll be handing everything to him on a plate. thats the only thing that keeps me hanging on. which saddens me even more.

AlleyCatandRastaMouse Sun 13-Mar-16 01:32:34

Myhead you need to speak to someone properly here is not enough. You will not be handing anybody anything because you are going to find your strength, focus on what you do have control over, which when you speak to someone in real life you will see is more than you realise and take small steps to get where you want to be. It will take time but you can do it.

myheadisamess Sun 13-Mar-16 01:34:59

sorry alley. that sounds rubbish. how do you deal with it? i feel like i feel every blow. ds doesn't seem too bothered but the weekends are long. i don't know what's happened/why.
i stayed in today when he cam home, but sat in a different room, and dh just went to sleep in playroom while ds was playing xbox. that annoyed me, but dh said it was normal dad behaviour. "everyone needs a life."

AlleyCatandRastaMouse Sun 13-Mar-16 01:40:12

Myhead we just keep creating opportunities for DS with friends children and family members, he is young though so we will just keep working on it.

Your 'D' H is being a cock. An utter cock. You need a plan, nothing focuses the mind like a plan but you need support. Have you family or friends to speak to?

myheadisamess Sun 13-Mar-16 01:44:55

thanks alley. i do have family/friends but i think if i ever told them what i was thinking/feeling it would all go batshit crazy. And then i would lose my whole life anyway because everyone would know i'm suicidal and i wouldn't be trusted with my kids. whom i would never harm.

myheadisamess Sun 13-Mar-16 01:50:12

i have been to see a solicitor. My plan.
i need to stick to this. I am going back to her next week.
i will try to see it though.
but i need to think the life i offer to my kids is a life worthwhile.

AlleyCatandRastaMouse Sun 13-Mar-16 01:56:56

Look the last thing you need is pressure piled on top of what you are feeling, but at the moment the most harm your children could come to is losing you. Like i said you have huge value I don't know you so I cannot fill in the blanks here, your family and friends can, which is why you need to speak to them. Be selective if you must be, you know the right people to handle this in real life. Speak to them and your GP is also a great port of call. No one can deal with the level of stress you are under. One of my good friends is currently breaking up with her DH and she has just started counselling which she is finding great if that might be an option for you too.


AlleyCatandRastaMouse Sun 13-Mar-16 01:57:52

No one can deal with the stress alone I mean.

Lonecatwithkitten Sun 13-Mar-16 02:10:16

Myhead you are in the darkest place right now. The bit where you have split, but are still living in the same house is mentally the hardest.
I promise you it will get easier when you are living separately, mainly because you don't have to watch everything you say and do.
You do need to talk in real life just to one or two people, it helps.
The Smaritans is a good suggestion. Please be kind to your self you are in a difficult situation.thanks

Nobodyspecialanymore Sun 13-Mar-16 03:19:22

Please think about going into a d.v. unit, a shelter. Emotional abuse is abuse too. You and the kids need the support you would get there, and he wouldn't be able to bully you.

DioneTheDiabolist Sun 13-Mar-16 03:23:38

OP, I have felt like ending it all. And, I have done it.

Walked away from my marriage, my home, my job, my assets, my possessions and my friends. I took my DC, my life and what was left of my sanity and started again.

I am 8 years down the line and me and DC have a great life. A home, some happiness, lots of love and peace.

Chareen92 Sun 17-Apr-16 13:28:32

Hi al couldn't find the correct page to post on. In need of advice...

Basically me and my oh have been together for nearly 7 years we've talked about marriage a few times and also had a few break ups over y he hasn't proposed yet or even set a date. He know it's what I want to be part of his famil. We have two children together. The problem is he always uses excuses like we always argue.... Which we don't. Also he has took me ring shopping twice and nothing ever came from it. It's been a nightmare waiting for him. The only time he seems serious is when I've made my mind up about leaving him. But I'm not at that point of I don't know if I want to marry him I keep thinking if he proposed I'd have to think about it and most likely say yes. I seem like I'm staying with him to please him when in fact I'm unhappy as its pushed me away. I've distanced myself so I don't get hurt anymore. I feel like he's waisting my time and that I should even let things go or stay in the relationship and try work things out. I just worry that if he did I'd have a constant though that I pressured him to do it. What would other do??

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