misplaced dildo!

(19 Posts)
Cupcakeannie77 Fri 26-Feb-16 19:52:46

Ever so slightly embarrassed by this, well actually completely mortified tbh! My friend house sat last week, looking after dog and fish and she left something behind. I was changing the bed and a huge great big dildo fell out. Most definitely not mine (wrong colour) how the hell do I give it her back??? confused

MardyBra Fri 26-Feb-16 19:54:14

Give her a big bunch of flowers for housesitting and hide it in the middle?

HoneyDragon Fri 26-Feb-16 19:54:34

Take a picture of your dog holding it and thank her on Facebook for your doggies new toy that her loves.

Play dumb.

LillyBugg Fri 26-Feb-16 19:54:48

If you know her well enough that she stayed in your house honestly I'd just text her and say she left something behind and see how it unravels.

If you can't face it just don't say anything, she might not ever ask!

MardyBra Fri 26-Feb-16 19:55:34

Thank her for leaving you such a nice sculpture and proudly display it on your mantlepiece the next time she visits?

HairySubject Fri 26-Feb-16 19:56:02

I would text her to come and pick it up, sounds like she is a good friend to house sit.

MardyBra Fri 26-Feb-16 19:56:13

If you're mortified, imagine how she's feeling!

TrinityForce Fri 26-Feb-16 19:57:36

Christ

Put it in a bag or something and hide... If she hasn't asked for it back in a month, bin it.

SexTrainGlue Fri 26-Feb-16 19:59:02

"If you're mortified, imagine how she's feeling!"

Assuming it's hers.

If she was entertaining a lady or gentleman during your absence, it might be theirs.

Or could it belong to another person in your household?

MardyBra Fri 26-Feb-16 20:00:54

I think I'd probably do what Trinity says. She can then decide whether to ask for it back or leave it as the unmentioned elephant dildo in the room between you.

TryMeOutTiger Fri 26-Feb-16 20:02:43

Hahhahah

TeaAddict235 Fri 26-Feb-16 20:07:01

show her this thread?

UnmentionedElephantDildo Fri 26-Feb-16 20:09:07

grin

StuffandBother Fri 26-Feb-16 20:09:16

I'm not sure I can a truly believe someone would a) feel the need to pack a dildo for one nights house sitting .. And b) if they did, surely you would make it your priority to not leave it in the bed when you left hmm

AnchorDownDeepBreath Fri 26-Feb-16 20:10:19

Put it in her bag next time she's round. Slyly. Wearing gloves.

She must be dying inside and holding her breath whenever you contact her...

AnchorDownDeepBreath Fri 26-Feb-16 20:10:47

Or, adult it out and tell her that you don't need to share so she's welcome to pick it up.

I'm with Stuff.

Cupcakeannie77 Fri 26-Feb-16 21:06:47

She's a good friend and stayed for a fortnight as dog was poorly and unable to go into kennels. She helped me out and I don't want to embarrass her. She did ask if I'd mind if she 'entertained' and I was completely fine so it may not be hers??? She's quite timid and quiet and has never really engaged in girly sex conversations after a few vinos. I was surprised when she asked if I'd mind her having someone over but I wasn't bothered by it as she was giving up 2 weeks for me. To clarify though it was my spare bed!

MGC1986 Sat 23-Apr-16 21:52:40

Just interested OP - what did you do?

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