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relationship advice

(6 Posts)
cookies92 Tue 16-Feb-16 08:48:27


I have been with my partner for 4 years, we have a 1.5 year old little boy and are due to be married next year. Our situation was a little complicated when I fell pregnant as we had split up for 5 months previous to this and only been back together a month when I got pregnant. We decided to make a go of it, got our own place and had our baby. Throughout my pregnancy he was amazing support. The reason we split up was because I was sick of his immaturity, but he seemed to change when I got pregnant and all my friends and family noticed and were happy he was finally growing up. When our little boy came along for the first two weeks again he was amazing. Then it all changed. He went back to his old ways, we fought a lot and it was pretty bad for us all. Anyway, once our little boy got to about 6 months and was sleeping all night etc our relationship seemed to get back on track for probably about a year with a few minor blips along the way. Anyway recently I have been feeling he has lost interest in us. I tried to push it to the back of my mind until I saw he had been mailing a girl on Facebook but he had tried to delete most of the messages. He'd also told one of his friends that she was hot. This really hurt me and we got into a bug fight I ended up taking off to my mums with my little boy in tow. We argued and argued over text and he got one of his work mates involved in it all which made things even worse. I came home the next day as I had work but we argued and argued so badly. I left my little boy at my mums because I didn't want him to see or hear any of it. Anyway this argument lasted at least 4 days as I kept finding out more and more things, he had told his work colleague a bunch of lies about me which just made everything worse. He said he only did this out of anger but that is not the point he should not of said them. As for the messages to the girl he said he didn't say anything bad to her and he deleted them because he didn't want me to get the wrong end of the stick. But in my mind if there was nothing bad he shouldn't of deleted them. My mum is really disappointed in him for doing this, as is the friend I told. They don't want to think bad of him but can't see how this is right. We are a young couple of 23 and 24, he works all week and I work all weekend. We never have time together because we can't due to our work commitments. Anyone got any advice? Thanks

DoreenLethal Tue 16-Feb-16 08:53:36

Erm - what do you want people to say?

He doesn't appear to be acting like someone in a long term relationship with a child to be honest.

cookies92 Tue 16-Feb-16 09:02:27

Was just looking for some advice on what to do..

ExplodingCarrots Tue 16-Feb-16 09:08:09

You're young. Don't waste your life on this manchild. Do you want your dc growing up thinking this is a healthy relationship?

He doesn't seem to be committed to family life.

cookies92 Tue 16-Feb-16 09:14:36

This is why I'm torn, I want us to work, I don't want us to have to split up. But I don't want to waste my life with someone that isn't going to grow up. I know he'd realise if I left, but if i left I wouldn't be coming back as I'm no doing that to myself or my son. I don't agree with coming and going, if I left it's done. And thats a very permanent thing to do.

DoreenLethal Tue 16-Feb-16 10:01:10

I want us to work

That's fine, but he evidently doesn't!

You are in your early 20s. Don't waste your life [as said earlier] on this relationship. It is going nowhere.

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