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(3 Posts)
TheBouquets Sun 14-Feb-16 20:14:14

A situation has arisen that I am not sure what to do about if anything other than keep me and my household out of the way.
Years ago we had a step father. He was totally useless, paid for nothing, provided nothing, would not be the house person when we all knew that he earned nothing and ran up debts while our mam worked all hours. He was only the father to one of the children.
One day our mam realised that this was doing nothing for her life and threw him out. The older ones were glad to see the back of him as he had been abusive to them.
He tried to make mam's life miserable with harassment like asking workmen for estimates. There were lots of harassment. He was refused access through County Court due to his demands which totally lacked any understanding of children.
He then made false accusations about what was going on in the house which resulted in our mam being investigated. He was very capable of convincing people he was the injured party.
For many years our mam refused all attempts to negotiate any contact as she was scared after the court experience. The court said No so no it was. 20 years later and this stepfather has re-appeared and has been causing trouble. There have been arguments all round the family because of things being said by this person. He claims he paid for this that and the other yet I have seen the letter from Child Support paying compensation for their failure to obtain any money from him.
Some of the family are believing what he says and turning against mam, other things have been gossiped about and siblings are now falling out. He does not have a pleasant word to say about anyone
What keeps going through my mind is that the courts were all against him having access to children, one of them being his own but now he is babysitting young children. There was also talk years ago about him and another child from where he used to live in another county. Some of the children he is babysitting are showing some strange signs which could indicate distress or even abuse. I am not trained on these subjects all I am going by is gut instincts and I just do not feel comfortable with any of this.
The siblings are not in agreement with me or each other. It is all one huge splitting of the family mainly caused by someone who seems to be a manipulative liars. We were all OK before this person came back around us.
What would you do about this?

MidnightVelvetthe5th Sun 14-Feb-16 20:20:22

If the older children were being abused and you have reason to believe he is still abusing then report him to social services. Either go into your council's internet homepage and find a number or phone the NSPCC who can advise you.

TheBouquets Sun 14-Feb-16 20:55:08

Thanks Midnight. The ones I called the older children are now adults and it is some of their children who are being babysat. Surely if they remember what went on they would not allow such a person near their kids. The abuse was known to be verbal running down of the children, i.e. you are stupid, hitting a toddler for badly turning a page, promising all sorts and providing nothing. All big talk and no action. We are all going to London to see a certain feature and we are going to X for a month's holiday (long haul). He talks of a life that just was not true but of course his tale bigs him up and runs the rest of us down. He is a control freak. Mam is very worried for the kids and for herself, does not want this person around any of us but knows we are adults.

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