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How can we turn this into a positive situation?

(2 Posts)
ThePartyArtist Tue 09-Feb-16 11:59:37

This is a 'what would you do' about how my husband and I can adjust our thinking a bit, and feel a bit happier with present circumstances.

We are both desperately, achingly broody for a first child. Fortunately, as far as we know we have no fertility problems, which I realize makes us luckier than many and I do hope this post won't cause offence because of that.

We have decided that logically we should wait until later in the year before trying to conceive because a) we are trying to buy our first house and haven't yet found anywhere to make an offer on, and b) I currently have a temporary contract, and want to wait until I sign my permanent contract later this month before getting pregnant, otherwise I am afraid that my work may retract the offer of making me permanent.

It's just so hard waiting, when we feel so ready. Being surrounded by friends with kids is bittersweet. I've been trying to think of ways we can feel a bit happier about this temporary situation and be a bit more patient. Sometimes I think we're being way to cautious, or idealistic, or sensible, and what if it takes us ages to conceive? Other times I think it's only right that we get these big things lined up and it's only a matter of months to wait. We don't have a fun 'bucket list' of things we definitely want to do before kids (other than the house and contract) so sometimes it feels rubbish just waiting.

Any tips for how we can feel a bit happier about the wait and turn it into a positive instead of a negative?

DontBuyANewMumCashmere Thu 11-Feb-16 20:51:46

In the kindest possible way, I think you're over thinking it.
Firstly your having a baby doesn't depend on being in a new house, and nothing motivates a couple to start looking in earnest than expecting.
Secondly, the work situation is a matter of weeks so not much to wait for there.

Personally I'd say if you both achingly want to start trying now then do; "worst" or best case scenario (iykwim) you'll get pregnant straight away and have to think about sorting a house out within 9 months. I was 3 months when we viewed our current house, we moved in at 8 months and there was a bit of stress but I didn't have to lift a finger, so you know, swings and roundabouts wink

Finally it might take longer for you to conceive than you imagine, and as everyone says there is no perfect time to have a baby. There's always something that needs doing, or you'd like to achieve first.

However, if you're dead set on waiting I'd focus on: enjoying going out in the evenings, going for a bike ride, skinny jeans, summer bbqs, parties, pub gardens, bladder control, pimms, book a minor holiday and look forward to it being an adult holiday with everything that goes with it.
Being a parent can be great but there's loads you won't enjoy whilst you're pregnant and have a baby. winewinewine

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