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(11 Posts)
purplefizz26 Tue 09-Feb-16 11:43:49

My close friend of 20 years is getting married later in the year. She has invited me, my DP and my DD (2 years 4 months by then) to the evening only due to tight number restrictions.

I am a little sad to not get a ceremony and wedding breakfast invitation, as I will be the only one out of our friendship group not invited to that part. I understand it is due to tight numbers though and wouldn't dream of letting on I was feeling that way.

Anyway, I have RSVP'd with yeses for myself and DP and no for DD. Explained DD goes to bed by 8pm, refuses to nap in the day and will no doubt make the evening difficult with toddler grumpiness and being tired meaning we would have to leave very early. Want to enjoy her reception, have a drink, stay late etc etc.

My friend has emailed to say she is disappointed my DD won't be coming and asked that I reconsider and just let her burn herself out and then sleep in her stroller.

To be fair she does think the world of my DD and I understand her wanting to see her at the reception but my DP and i don't have many nights off and think for what it's worth there just isn't much point taking a tired toddler and not being able to stay late and enjoy the night fully!

Had we been invited to the daytime part, my daughter would have been fine for that and we would have arranged for whoever babysits to collect her when ready for her bed.

Just feeling a little frustrated as she doesn't have children she doesn't understand that it isn't as simple as just bring her and let her fall asleep in her stroller grinand i resent having to get her dressed to go out, carting her to the venue over an hour away for the sake of her staying an hour or so to then have her collected by babysitter and taken back home!

I have pretty much made my mind up to stick to my guns and say no to DD just DP and I will go, WWYD?

PennyHasNoSurname Tue 09-Feb-16 11:47:03

Id have done the same as you. I rarely rake my dc to weddings as they are still so young. An evening only wedding and id definetly leave her behind. Yanbu at all.

Only1scoop Tue 09-Feb-16 11:47:20

Stick to your plan.

allegretto Tue 09-Feb-16 11:47:28

Stick to your guns - she can see your DD another time. She won't really have much time to interact with her on her wedding day anyway!

ThePartyArtist Tue 09-Feb-16 11:48:06

You are right to say you and DP will go. Your reasons for not taking DD are sensible and will mean you can be more present, enjoy more of the evening and stay later.

You have already explained why it's not practical. Maybe just leave it at that, attend the wedding as planned, and arrange another date to get together with your friend and DD so they can enjoy each other's company properly?

willconcern Tue 09-Feb-16 11:50:48

stick to your plan. Arrange to meet friend with DD another time. Your friend is mistaken if she thinks she'll have any time at her own wedding reception to actually spend time with your DD!

MrsHathaway Tue 09-Feb-16 11:55:13

She'd have maybe thirty seconds with DD and you and DP would then have a hideous time with her "burnt out".

You are being totally reasonable. If she wanted to spend hours with DD, she needed to invite you all for the full day.

Muskateersmummy Tue 09-Feb-16 11:56:07

Stick to your plan. You know your dd best and you know if this will lead to a less enjoyable evening for you. Plus I would quite like the evening out without dd just me and dh.

SanityClause Tue 09-Feb-16 11:56:34

No, stick to your guns.

If she was desperate to have your DD as part of her wedding, she should have invited her to the daytime bit.

Just say that it's really not practical, as DD will be wanting to go to sleep within an hour of you arriving.

LucyMouse Tue 09-Feb-16 11:59:14

No, if she wants to see your two year old on her wedding day, she needs to invite you all to the wedding breakfast. How odd.

purplefizz26 Tue 09-Feb-16 12:05:11

Thanks everyone! Reassuring smile

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