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Why do I find decision-making so hard? I'm going crazy with this latest one

(3 Posts)
whynogutfeeling Thu 04-Feb-16 11:29:09

This seemed the most apt place to post this... I find decision making very difficult in the best of circumstances and my current pregnant state is not helping....! Decisions relating to my 3 year child are the hardest too.
People say 'just go with your gut' but I honestly don't have one on many things! I have been stressing for the past week about one decision which feels huge to me: whether to move my 3 year old from their current nursery where they go when I work part-time to a Welsh medium school nursery where. This would mean short term inconvenience and slightly less time with my child for me in the short term (which makes me emotional and guilty!) but would hopefully be an opportunity for my child to begin to learn a new language, even though as (non-Welsh speaking) parents we are far from convinced that we will choose Welsh medium for reception onwards. We have essentially the chance to trial Welsh medium but at a convenience cost to us (as taking the place will mean changing work hours slightly etc). We could just wait and apply for the a place at the same Welsh medium setting from September but we may or may not get a place then, so it feels like a gamble to wait as if we don't get a place later we won't get the chance to try Welsh medium at all.

I have many reservations about Welsh medium which include 'will my child do less well because their parents don't speak Welsh?', 'will I feel less connected to my child and their education because they speak and are educated in a language that I don't?', 'will it turn them into a Welsh nationalist and Welsh language hardliner?' (I am Welsh and proud but do not buy into the nationalism of some of my fellow Welsh people!), 'will Welsh actually be any use to my child in future?'.

And other dilemmas: would it be best to change their nursery setting a few months after the new baby arrives (i.e. Septemebr) rather than a couple few months before (i.e. now)? If we don't send him to Welsh medium will I / they regret it in future? Will they be disavantaged very much in terms of jobs in future?

I am going back and forth and just cannot decide! I've had sleepkess nights for the past week and am driving my partner insane. It's been all we've talked about for days now.

How do you find a gut feeling? Do you always have one regardless of the dilemma? How do you make peace with making a decision when neither option seems ideal? I am emotionally drained and need to make this decision and move forward, and also save myself from future stresses like this in future.

MoggieMaeEverso Thu 04-Feb-16 12:38:39

Sometimes neither option is ideal.

If you're not sure which decision you would regret more, sometimes you just have to accept that you may have regrets and that's OK.

Presumably you could switch back to the current nursery if the new one doesn't work out...?
If you don't try, you'll never know, and may regret that.
If you do give it a try, you'll at least know, and any regrets may be easier to live with.
If you do it now, then you will be sure of your choice by the time baby arrives and it will be less on your mind and less disruption for your child.

I guess you can see what I would choose! But it's your decision and I'm sure whatever you decide will be the right one. Good luck.

whynogutfeeling Thu 04-Feb-16 12:56:54

Thanks for replying. We could switch back to the current nursery but would lose the funding we get for it. So, we keep the funding for the current nursery if we stick with it and we also get the funding for the new place if we choose to move, but would get nothing if we had to move back (and DP would not stand for switching back I fear!). The funded period lasts from now until when our child would start full-time school next September.
(Welsh system of funding pre-school differs to England).

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