Family feud(15 Posts)
Ok typing this out makes it seem really petty, and I know it's only a dog, but I can't seem to bring myself to just hand it back.
So 5.5 years ago, my sibling got a dog and after looking after it for a year they then gave it to us to look after for the winter while they were abroad. This then extended to a year and when the dog was requested to be returned we said fine but we won't take the dog again after the summer, if we give it back we won't take it again. So we've ended up keeping the dog for 4.5 years now without a gap. Occasionally the sibling has asked for it back but has never been in a position where they could look after the dog, or at one point I was pregnant, so our parents told my sibling not to upset me. Last summer after much discussion my sibling told me that they wanted the dog returned in June 2016. I have disputed the ownership rights in response and now neither of us are speaking. My sibling wants to fly the extremely timid dog on a long distance flight to a hot country and I actually don't think that the dog would survive the flight and it does not enjoy being hot. Obviously it's very upsetting that we are now falling out over this, but as I've said, I can't bring myself just to hand it back. Apart from the money side, (vet, food and dog walker bills for 4.5 years) I've put an enormous amount of effort in for this dog. For 2 years while working I got up every day at 515 to walk it before work and now as a sahm I have to juggle walking it and looking after a toddler on my own for most of the week. I don't begrudge this to the dog at all as we all love it dearly and it's one of the family, but I feel this effort should be recognised. Anyway rabbitting now. Wwyd?
Add up the cost of looking after it for 4 years and say they can have the dog once they've paid the 'kenneling fee'.
And then tell them to do one and get their own dog.
How ridiculous. The dog is part of your family, it lives with you. Your sister can't just expect you to effectively post the dog to her because it was hers at the very beginning.
Tell them dogs aren't just for Xmas and seeing as this one has been your responsibility for almost 5 years now, it's your dog and they may not have it back.
, according to research by Sainsbury's pet insurance. And it's set to get even more expensive. The average annual cost of owning a dog is currently £1,183.28 Sep 2011
So when they give you £5,916.40 (5*) plus kennel fees, you'll hand over the dog
The dog is not a commodity. Keep the dog sod family.
Did they get the dog knowing they were going abroad a year later?
Seems totally bonkers - why can't they just get a dog where they are now?
I'd keep the dog.
A relative of mine was in this situ, and would've been heartbroken to give the 2 dogs back after 2.5 years. She (or rather her dh) said they could have the dogs back as soon as they were reimbursed for all food/vet/grooming bills. She still has the dogs.
Ememem - It is microchipped but with their old address and my current telephone number as I never felt the need to change the actual ownership details.
Thanks everybody, that's pretty much how I feel but it's all easier said than done really. My mother is very upset about it all too (understandably). Unfortunately money probably isn't an issue so that argument probably won't work and reasoning doesn't seem to be having much effect either. Fun fun fun!
My family's absolutely bonkers in every way, but when grandparents took in my auntie's cat about 16 or so years ago because she moved away from them and didn't want to take the cat with her, even SHE didn't complain - A few years later she decided she wanted a cat again and so she bought herself new ones because she had the common sense to know that the older cat was no longer hers really, considering how long it'd been in my grandarents' care. Tell them to get stuffed, what are they going to do about it? Surely the dog doesn't even know them anymore (and vice versa) really considering how large a portion of it's life it's been with you and your family. From what you've said it sounds like they've had plenty of opportunities to take the dog back and haven't which, to me, makes it sound like they actually don't give a toss about the dog or it's well-being, only about having ownership of a "thing".
Just start forgetting to return phonecalls I'm not sure of the legality of it but maybe changing the address on the microchip would be an option too? I'm not sure how all that works but I've never had to do paperwork when getting an animal from someone except breeders/rescue homes, so I can't imagine it'd be a big problem if your phone number is there and has been for however long - it's not like you found the dog on the street and are stealing it or that (iyswim).
Don't give him back. Why she's she even want him now? If money is no issue then they should buy a new dog and not go to all the trouble if flying your dog to them.
Is this some lingering sibling rivalry thing?
Would they recognise the dog in a lineup? would the dog recognise them?? Who would the dog rather be with?
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