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Being harassed by Ex Friend

(3 Posts)
Tink06 Mon 23-Nov-15 23:42:58

I really don't know what to do. I have a close knit group of friends most of whom have been friends 20 plus years. The one in question joined the group about 5 years and I thought we got on well.
I was very wrong. . We had a minor fall out around xmas (honestly can't remember exactly what about). I thought it was minor but in reflection think this runs a lot deeper.
Since then I have endured a year of hell. It started with an anonymous letter to my teenage daughter describing an affair. I did have a brief fling last year that only my close friends knew about. Not defending my actions but my marriage was going through a bad patch and I deeply regret it. I can't turn the clock back though. I am positive it was from this person.and luckily it didn't cause any lasting damage.
Since then I have found out she has told virtually everyone she can, added lots of lies, systematically tried turning everyone in the group against me (luckily she got short thrift from most of them). She has also instigated a nasty little bullying thread on fb n caused a massive drink fuelled scene in front of my kids in a night out.
Her neanderthal son is also involved and had a massive go at 2 of the group for still being friends with me. The latest was this weekend - i was out with friends having a good time, nowhere near them, another mutual friend bumped into them in the local pub n he was screaming abuse about me n had a massive go at her. He reckons people have only stayed friends with me because they are scared of me.
The thing is I don't know how to make it stop and I am absolutely sick of it. I now think this particular person has mental health issues as she has had obsessive vendettas before. She reckoned her old friend ripped her off financially, her ex was abusive. She often talks about groups of mates she used to spend time with but none of them have ever been seen and am not sure. Up until about 5 years ago we barely knew her. Think most of it is lies.
Sorry for long post - trying to explain without drip feeding. Already lost a close friend through this as she has been taken in by it.
We are all middle aged by the way not 16 as you might think. The nasty son is in his 20s and has seen me a few times but not said a word. Basically I will stick up for myself and I think that they are Snidy and manipulative so won't say anything to my face.
I try to ignore it and rise above it but any suggestions on what to do? At the moment I feel like its never going to end.

RunRabbitRunRabbit Mon 23-Nov-15 23:48:40

Yes ignore it. Any reaction you give will be a reward to her.

Perhaps have a proper talk to your mates about how you can all handle her with a coordinated ignore.

Tink06 Wed 25-Nov-15 20:04:30

Thanks for the reply. I know i need to ignore and rise above it but its hard at times. Most of group have tried to stay neutral buts its becoming increasingly more difficult. Made me feel better writing it all down.

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