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if you caught your 9 year old son watching porn showing naked men on his iPod Touch!

(102 Posts)
Blea72 Sun 08-Nov-15 22:09:00

I feel sick as just caught my just 9 year old ds watching porn on his iPod touch, he had it hid under his pillow and begged that he delete something before I took it, I snatched it off him and he was hysterical and so upset, he said it just came up on the screen, I have checked his history and he's been looking at it for days, I have now set parental control and he is in bed, what the hell do I say to him tomorrow?

Poor little boy. He must be feeling terrible at the moment. Is he still awake? Can you sit with him and hug him for a while? Others will be along with more advice soon I'm sure.

Blea72 Sun 08-Nov-15 22:23:25

He's asleep and I didnt tell him off, I'm shocked but I know I can't ignore this and need to speak to him, I want to do it calmly.

AuditAngel Sun 08-Nov-15 22:32:46

Perhaps you could just explain that it is intended for adults.

HarrietSchulenberg Sun 08-Nov-15 22:36:45

All of the above and either remove the ipod or disable its internet connection. Check what's downloaded on it first and remove anything inappropriate.

If he's been looking at it for days then he's obviously been intrigued by it, so a good "online safety" and "when to tell your parents" talk might be useful.

vestandknickers Sun 08-Nov-15 22:39:17

Why would a nine year old even know that porn exists or have any interest in it? I'd be incredibly worried about what he'd been exposed to.

AgentProvocateur Sun 08-Nov-15 22:42:13

I'm quite shocked that a 9-year old has access to the Internet in private on a device with no parental controls. Having said that, I'd want to know why he was looking it up - have they been looking at it in the playground, or did one of his friends suggest it? I'd then let the school know, because I'm sure he'll have talked about it in the playground.

And then I'd remove Internet-enabled devices until he was older.

GloopyGhoul Sun 08-Nov-15 22:42:46

Surely the "boys and men" part is slightly irrelevant? Yy to an online safety chat, tho. And maybe try to get him to open up with you (no idea if you & he have this sort of comfortable relationship btw, no judgement here) about why he watched, why he was so ashamed/embarrassed.

UterusUterusGhali Sun 08-Nov-15 22:44:46

sad

Poor little mite.

He knew it was wrong. And what to google. Have you seen the phrases he looked for?

I'd wonder who taught him these phrases.

00100001 Sun 08-Nov-15 22:48:22

Definitely time to filter his internet!!

Blea72 Sun 08-Nov-15 22:50:24

I have no idea why or how he would know what to look at, I've been sat here wondering how he would know what to look for, he said it was by accident and I've been sat googling things and it's so easy to get things up on the screen. I hadn't set parental control as I hadn't even thought about it, he plays games on his iPod and I would never think he would even look at that kind of thing, I'm shocked! I certainly won't be telling the school as where will that get me? I doubt it's happened from talking in the playground and can't imagine he would have discussed this with anyone as by his reaction tonight I would say he was very embarrassed, im not sure what to say to him as I don't want to humiliate him but I need him to know that he shouldn't have been looking at it, not sure if to ask him why? thank u for all help

Blea72 Sun 08-Nov-15 22:51:11

The phrases I saw where 'naked men'

vestandknickers Sun 08-Nov-15 22:54:03

This is not normal behaviour for a nine year old. You need to talk to him about why he would be interested in such things or how he even knew the words to search.

Arfarfanarf Sun 08-Nov-15 22:54:24

I'd double check that my internet child safety was properly sorted and I'd have a very long conversation with him about how to stay safe on the net and it's possibly time to have a chat with him about sex and bodies.
did I read right that you had absolutely no parental controls? Youneed to ensure that the ones you've put on are good enough. Thry dont all do the job.
Don't just rely on what's on the device. See what you can download. I've also set controls on the broadband itself so it's not just on the device.

Blea72 Sun 08-Nov-15 22:54:25

I won't be taking the iPod away but I hve already set parental control! The reason he had access in private is because it never crossed my mind he would look at anything like that as he just plays games in it and that's not very often, I trust my children agent provocateur

DoreenLethal Sun 08-Nov-15 22:54:41

You give your kid access to the world wide web and dont think about it?

Sheesh.

Blea72 Sun 08-Nov-15 22:55:53

He only had access to the iPod and I've now set parental control and I've tested it so is this enough?

Blea72 Sun 08-Nov-15 22:56:41

It didn't cross my mind he would use it for anything other than games, guess I'm a bit dumb but I've learnt my lesson

Arfarfanarf Sun 08-Nov-15 22:56:43

Children that age absolutely are curious about bodies. If he was googling' naked men' I would assume he was curious about his body and start from there.

knaffedoff Sun 08-Nov-15 22:57:31

Wow, you trust a 9 yr old ...... does he have access to your bank and pin information too????

00100001 Sun 08-Nov-15 22:57:47

You should talk to the school actually. Because I'd he's getting it from another child, then that child is being exposed to indecent images and is a victim too.

Also the school can do an internet safety tall for ALL the kids.

You should be more concerned than you are.

Also, filter the internet. Do ojt allow him to go online unsupervised until you can sort the filtering out.

Well, really, he's 9, he shouldn't be online unsupervised at all tbh

StealthPolarBear Sun 08-Nov-15 22:58:07

Surely you could be in serious trouble with the police?
Audit angel it is not intended for adults!! That's far too calm a reaction.

Blea72 Sun 08-Nov-15 22:58:15

I will have to ask him how and why tomorrow, not looking forward to it,

titchy Sun 08-Nov-15 22:58:56

FFS it's not abnormal. Just normal curiosity. Yes sort out parental controls. Yes to the chat about naked people being for grown ups to see. And yes to getting him a book that explains about growing up and what will / is happening to him. And yes to lots of reassurance that you're not angry with him.

Arfarfanarf Sun 08-Nov-15 22:59:09

You need to ensure that he cannot bypass parental controls. On some devices this is fairly easy to do.
You can download k9 or something or go into your internet and set his device to only be able to connect to the net at certain times. Or set it to only connect to certain websites and block everything else.

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