Babies or Masters?(6 Posts)
I have recently turned 30 and have been broody for the past year. OH and I have been trying to decide plan for trying to have baby but I have been offered opportunity to study a masters part time whilst working a fairly stressful job already (long hours etc). Masters would be part funded by my employer. I am interested in the subject that I would be studying and my OH thinks it would give me a competitive edge when returning back to work and may enable me to become self-employed as a consultant in the long term which would assist with work life balance especially with young family.
I have always thought that by 30 I should be cracking on with starting a family and I worry about leaving starting too late as I would like to have 2 or 3. Although I appreciate that 32-33 may not be too late? Might the chances of conceiving reduce?
I am a bit torn between wanting a family soon - that's what my heart says; or delaying by 2 years or so to study - this is what my head thinks (albeit it's not guaranteed that the masters would advance my career and I am concerned about having to cope with additional stress of studying again whilst working full time).
What do you think I should do?
If the question of babies was off the table, how would you feel about the masters then? As you say its a big commitment on top of full time work, would you like to do it or is it just your OH who's keen? If you did it and it didn't end up progressing your career would you feel like it had been a massive waste of time and effort, or would you be pleased you'd achieved it?
Re: babies, 32/33 isn't so old that I would personally feel I was leaving it too late, but of course until you start trying you never know what will happen.
My immediate feeling would be Masters - you could always start TTC towards the end? But that's me and I'd LOVE to do one. If it's not the same for you then perhaps it's not right.
How many DC do you want to have? That might change things. 32 isn't that different to 30 in terms of fertility, but 34 is beginning to change and after 35 it's statistically much lower. So if you want one or two, and fairly close together, delaying could be reasonable, but if you want 3+ or a larger age gap, then it might be better to start now. And of course you don't know whether your plans will change after you have one or how long it will take to conceive in the first place.
Is it an option to delay the studying for a year or two instead?
Check the ts and cs that might be associated with your employer part funding, but the academic institution should allow you to suspend studies/ take a year out if needed. Might be worth considering if needs be
I think the official advice is to TTC before 35. So 32-33 is fine, imho.
Dh and I (in a moment of sheer lunacy ) decided he would do a part time masters at around the same time as I would have a baby. Mn would have had a field day with is if I'd ever consulted aibu!
Anyway the benefit of our experience is that the two are not compatible. He did manage to complete it 5 years and 3 dc later. So if you want to do it do so before babies or shelve the masters for 5 years.
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