Responses to questions about having babies!(5 Posts)
Getting quite sick now of people asking when we are having babies. I think everyone who knows us is aware we both really like kids. We were married last year, and have been together ages. Friends popping out babies left right and centre. So every time I am cuddling someone else's babies I get virtual strangers asking when we are having babies! And sometimes it's not strangers, it's acquaintances or distant relatives. I don't mind talking to friends about it, to say we would LOVE to but need to sort out a more stable job situation first - but when people I know less well ask I just want to scream! SIL said on our wedding day "nephews and nieces soon please" as if the sole purpose of our marriage was to procreate! Acquaintances seem to often ask too, sometimes even complete strangers. On one occasion when asked if I wanted kids I lied through my teeth and said "no... I like being able to hand them back to their parents..." I was then asked "Really? Don't you want them?" to the point where I felt that by insisting I didn't I was being offensive to the friend whose baby I was holding! In truth I wanted to say "yes, desperately, but we have taken the decision to ensure I have a stable job first". And even if I say something vague like "not right now" or "it's not very practical right now" I feel upset. How can I respond without being rude to people or embarrassing them, because I can see they are just being polite.
Sorry - the questions generally don't go away! I've been with DH for 17 years and we've had the questions for the whole time we've been together!
There have been various reasons we haven't had children - including the fact that up until recently neither of us wanted them!
Our retorts back have included that we were enjoying practicing having sex too much to think about babies! When I put some weight on due to a medical issue, you should seen the gleeful look in MIL's/grandparents-in-laws faces until I told them that I was fat not pregnant!
A few months ago we were at my nieces birthday party when both DH's nanna's said in loud voices that they weren't knitting anything else for babies, as there was no point.
We've even been told that there was no point to us being married if we're not going to have children.
(P.S. We're TTC currently, but no-one in DHs family knows)
If you're ttc I don't see what the problem is. Just say "probably in a couple of years". Unless people are rude they won't push the issue
I find that question so rude. I had fertility problems so maybe I'm a little sensitive to the question. I never ask someone that question as you don't know what could be going on.
I think I'd just look at them and not answer.
We get this all the time - we only met a couple of years ago, I'm approaching 40, he's a bit older. We don't want children, and our families respect that, but my colleagues are taking a bit of training on the subject. It's bloody irritating, if the truth be told. I'm getting tired of the "ooh, you'll be next" comments, to the point of not cuddling new babies in the office (I love a good new baby cuddle - just love to give them back!). I don't like sounding over sensitive about it, but it's just getting old.
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