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How to respond to 'why aren't you two married yet?'

(69 Posts)
MrsPilkington Thu 30-Jul-15 11:57:40

We get it an awful lot. Usually off his side of the family who swing between berating us for not being married and telling me I'm not good enough for him. So, purely because 'we aren't in a rush' is getting boring, and 'because I asked him and he said no' is slightly embarrassing, what would your hilarious replies be to stop this constant question but also to liven up the endless family occasions in which I find myself being asked.

pinkyredrose Thu 30-Jul-15 12:00:24

Tell them you're already married to someone else!

SanityClause Thu 30-Jul-15 12:03:21

You would obviously like to be married, but he wouldn't. Let him do the explaining.

LovesYoungDream Thu 30-Jul-15 12:07:49

Tell them you're keeping your options open (then smile and walk away before they can ask you to elaborate)

MrsPilkington Thu 30-Jul-15 12:08:27

Oh no. I couldn't do that haha. He said 'one day' when I asked him why not now. And I don't want people looking at me when it does happen thinking 'oh she finally wore him down then' blush

AlpacaMyBags Thu 30-Jul-15 12:08:30

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsPilkington Thu 30-Jul-15 12:08:49

Lovesyoungdream YES! I love that!

WhereYouLeftIt Thu 30-Jul-15 12:09:30

I'd probably go with 'because he insists you'd have to be invited to the wedding'.
Probably just say that inside my head though grin.

Love51 Thu 30-Jul-15 12:11:45

The truth. But phrased really bluntly, and don't smile, the aim isn't to make them feel comfortable.
ie He doesn't want to.

MrsPilkington Thu 30-Jul-15 12:12:03

gringringrin I wish WhereYouLeftIt grin

DarkEvilMoon Thu 30-Jul-15 12:14:34

<raised eyebrow> In this socially diverse culture why are you holding on to outdated concepts of the norm?

You could add "As long as we love each other what diference does an expensive piece of paper make?" but that would open you up to discussion.

chamerion Thu 30-Jul-15 12:17:38

'My husband would object.' wink

SweetSorrow Thu 30-Jul-15 12:19:19

We've been together for 10 years, have two children and my line in this situation is "I'm still making up my mind about him". In reality it's just that neither of us are that bothered.

Lottapianos Thu 30-Jul-15 12:23:12

Dear me, aren't people rude? We've been together for 10 years and never get this thankfully. I would probably go with one of the jokey responses above. And tell their to mind their own sodding business in my head smile

Muskey Thu 30-Jul-15 12:23:31

My response would be because we don't want to

badg3r Thu 30-Jul-15 12:24:20

"we made a deal a whole ago that we'd get engaged once we'd managed a whole month without someone asking about it inappropriately... I guess we're back to square one... " op I know how you feel! in the end we just had a baby instead. nobody has asked about the wedding once since he was born.

badg3r Thu 30-Jul-15 12:25:20

*while! And I'm not suggesting you should have a baby to put them off the scent!!

MrsPilkington Thu 30-Jul-15 12:28:07

We are expecting again but haven't told them yet wink perhaps we should save the announcement of baby number three until the next time they ask grin

Solasum Thu 30-Jul-15 12:28:27

I had an ex whose response to this, every time, was 'Why would I want to marry her? Hahaha' so glad he is now an ex

achieve6 Thu 30-Jul-15 12:29:17

how about "why haven't you learned basic manners yet?"

motherinferior Thu 30-Jul-15 12:30:53

I tend to quote the divine Mae West: I'm sure it's a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution yet.

DP tends to grumble that he's asked me and I said no.

ButterDish Thu 30-Jul-15 12:32:45

Get your DP to throw himself on the floor, sobbing operatically and howling 'Because she won't marry MEEE!' Each time.

More seriously, tell them to fuck off and decide whether, if marriage is actually something that is important to you, you are prepared to hang about waiting for someone who either doesn't want to marry, or doesn't want to marry you, is fobbing you off with 'one day', and seems to see you no issue with you socialising with his famiky who don't think you're good enough for him.

In other words, forget thinking up joky remarks to placate the family, and figure out whether this is a relationship you want to stay in indefinitely.

Chrysanthemum5 Thu 30-Jul-15 12:33:28

I'd probably reply 'why do you care?'
I think it's really rude to ask someone why they are/are not married; don't have children etc so I'm not very tolerant of it!

FishWithABicycle Thu 30-Jul-15 12:34:51

Some friends of mine did something similar to badg3r - it was "each time someone asks, we add on another year."

People did eventually stop asking (and last year they eloped and married in secret)

SoupDragon Thu 30-Jul-15 12:37:18

<<puts on sensible voice>>

If you have children, have you ensured that you have protection in place should it all go wrong...? So many women get screwed by this because they don't have the protection being married gives them.

That said, it's really on ones business. I imagine they are just making small talk and marriage and children often come fairly close together one way or the other. It's probably just something to say. If you were married with no children it would be "are you planning to start a family...?"

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