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MIL relationship breakdown

(5 Posts)
Tigcas2829 Wed 29-Jul-15 12:12:43

We're having serious problems with my DH's mum and step-family.
We had our first child in 2011, and there has always been quite a lack of relationship between the MIL and my DD, not much interest and lack of intraction. She always used the excuse that when she was older it would be better, now the problem is it never has. My DD is a very shy little one with people she doesn't know, her and her family falling into that category. We have been aware of this issue and tried to address it with limited sucess.
Last Oct we had our DS, and automatically she made more of an effort with him. We have uhmed and ahhed about how to deal with this and it came to a head when we went away for a week with them and there was no interaction with our DD but plenty with or DS.
My DH confronted her about the situation only to be met with a scathing review of our parenting, saying we were lacking in ability and our DD was not shy just rude, and she has every right to have a relationship with our DS regardless of the lack of one with her. After this her husband chimed in on the argument attacking my DH verbally.
Understandably it has hit my DH very hard and as it stands he has cut off all contact with her, now I don't know how to move forward from it. I'm supporting his decision and am very hurt and insulted myself. I'm just wondering if there is any way back from this situation?

jimijack Wed 29-Jul-15 12:17:37

Wwid I would be putting as much space between myself and these people as I can.

Let your dp deal with it in his own way, support him with it but leave well alone now.

fuzzywuzzy Wed 29-Jul-15 12:20:40

I reckon no contact is right. Support your DH your mil favouring one DC over the other will have an impact as the DC grow older and realise the partiality.

I'd stay away and keep DC away from her too

BoboBunnyH0p Wed 29-Jul-15 19:49:29

I would stay well clear. My dads parents treated me and my younger brother differently, from experience as a child I thought I had done something wrong. It was little things like my brother getting a birthday card with grandson on but mine was just happy birthday. But as I got older I realised that they were just old fashioned and grandfather was a sexist pig and as a result I didn't haven't much of a relationship with them as an adult.

Tigcas2829 Wed 29-Jul-15 22:05:51

Thank you for your replies. As it turns our after my DH blocked both his mums and step dads numbers they attempted several times to send abusive messages. (Going by what his brother has said) Confirming in his mind the right decision has been made, at least for the foreseeable future.
I will continue to support his decision, I just hate for a split second that she made me question our parenting or my DD.
Thankyou also Bobo for the perspective of someone who was on the receiving end of preferential treatment. It was always one of my biggest concerns as they got older. They are lucky that they have 2 others sets of grandparents who love them both unconditionally. It's the MIL's loss, not ours.

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