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Some advice, please, driving problems

(7 Posts)
Greydog Tue 28-Jul-15 15:04:39

Hello, all. I would like some advice on how to handle a rather awkward situation. I have a friend who has rather got into the habit of expecting me to take her on days out on a fairly regular basis. I don’t have a real problem with that, the problem I have is with her as a passenger. She’s always been a bad driver, and passenger, but now she’s dreadful. She winces every time I overtake anything, she brakes at crossroads and junctions, she gasps when I pull into traffic. I have told her how off putting this is, but it makes no difference. When she’s with me I pretend I have my mother with me, so drive most sedately.
But – last time we went out – on the motorway, in the second lane (only 2 lanes on this bit) doing 60. There are 2 cars just ahead of me on the inside. I can see one is indicating to turn off, so I’m pretty certain the second car will want to pull round. I take my foot off the accelerator, and sure enough, he indicates and pulls out. There is shedloads of room. However, as he starts to pull out my passenger starts screaming (really screaming) “Grey, Grey, look out, oh god, Grey, look out!” I ignored her and kept on driving. We got to where we were going, spent some time there, and came home.
She really scared me, so much so, I’ve started to doubt my ability to drive, went to bed with a migraine that day, and two days later drove the same route to reassure myself. My DH said he was surprised I hadn’t taken her home, and in truth, had it been him or a family member, I would have done. I have tried, and have, made allowances for this person but she’s now beginning to make me dread having her in the car. We are going out this week again, and I have almost made up my mind that if she starts again, I will go home, telling her that if she doesn’t trust me to drive then there’s no point in her coming with me. Is that unreasonable?

Kafri Tue 28-Jul-15 22:06:37

Some people are nervous passengers but in all honesty if it's as bad as you say then I wouldn't be taking her anywhere and I wouldn't be feeling bad about my decision either.

If you like your days out (journey aside) you could try one more conversation with her and lay it out exactly how off putting she's being and if she continues to do it you'll have to stop taking her
If you're not fussed about your days out then just phase them out and think no more of it.

For what it's worth - it would drive me crazy and I'd have snapped by now.

SpongeBobJudgeyPants Tue 28-Jul-15 22:10:05

Ok, so from what you've said, she can actually drive? If so, can she drive you both, save the angst?

Greydog Wed 29-Jul-15 16:36:45

Thanks, Kafri that's really what I was thinking, and Sponge she can drive, but as her idea of a long journey is 16 miles, with a break for a cup of tea, that's a non starter! I'll see how things go tomorrow

SpongeBobJudgeyPants Wed 29-Jul-15 20:53:07

Might be preferable to the alternative though. As they say in my family, "You pays your money, and you makes your choice". smile

FawnDrench Thu 30-Jul-15 19:39:51

I would ask (tell) her to sit in the back of the car so she can't see what you are doing and is further away from the controls and the road.
Or give her one of those night masks and insist she wears it!

specialsubject Fri 31-Jul-15 10:17:44

tell her that her screaming and fussing are putting you both in danger, so in future please can she take the bus. Or shut up. Her choice.

if she's a bad driver, don't be her passenger!

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