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vote on which way to go..

(3 Posts)
AuntieMeemz Mon 13-Jul-15 22:10:32

I think PIL are seriously abusive, controlling, their outrageous behaviour knows no bounds when it comes to getting what they want. They have us over the barrel financially..so after many years I'm at the point where I can't live with it anymore. (they are 89 and 90)

Which is worse....

a)Keep taking their money and have a breakdown, trying to justify myself and hearing their sick comments going round round in my head. Hate myself for getting bullied into family events where she always ends up yelling at me (no-one else) across the room. Every time I hear 'you MUST come to this or that, who knows how long we have left. 'ohhh, you are soo sensitive, what a delicate flower... (I'm not at all).

b) tell them to shove the money, give up a comfortable home, move house, live on the bread line? (what if it all goes wrong, and we end up in debt? We'd still have to see them I can't deprive them of the son and grandchildren whom they adore). Such a move will involve endless shouting from them, sending the police round to 'check' on us,threats, insults and more.

DH is happy to support me, but they always 'get' to him in the end!

PS it would take pages and pages to describe them and their behaviour which in MILs case is probably fuelled by undiagnosed mental health issues.
PPS any votes that involve talking to PIL is a non starter.
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Newtobecomingamum Thu 16-Jul-15 15:44:37

Life is too short to be miserable... I don't know all the ins and outs obviously.. But if there is no reasoning with them then cut ties. However, make sure you have hubby onboard as remember no matter what they do or have done... They are still his mum and dad. You don't want it to cause issues with the two of you. I would talk at length with him about your feelings and make the decision.

Kafri Fri 17-Jul-15 22:48:37

If ever there was a case of 'money doesn't buy you happiness....'

Cut ties and move away.

Let your DH visit his parents with the DC so you can have nothing to do with them until they are able to be more friendly to you.

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