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'friend' blowing hot and cold

(4 Posts)
ooerrmissus Thu 09-Jul-15 16:08:12

Got a bit of a dilemma, not sure what to do- it's nothing major I realise but I just can't make my mind up!

One of the mums at DCs school moved away abroad a few years ago. Every year she comes back to the UK for a few weeks. We are not and never were great friends but more friendly IYSWIM. In advance of her arriving she will chat to me via Facebook and we will arrange to meet up. In the past I have also arranged meetups with some of the other mums from school e.g. lunch, picnic or days out.

This year she told me she was coming and what date she would be arriving in the UK but no more details. I asked her what her plans were on a couple of occasions but got nothing back. The only things she messaged back were questions about an email address she wanted. I invited her to a pre-arranged get together with a load of other mums, was firstly ignored and then she said she felt it would be 'intrusive'.

She arranged for her DS to go into the school to see his old school mates. I knew the date she was proposing but she didn't tell me the time. I only found out what time she was going into school when she messaged me asking for a lift. As it happens I had an appointment so couldn't have done it even if I had wanted to.

It turns out she had arranged for her DS to spend the entire day at school and had then gone out to do some shopping and get her nails done. I think that's a bit weird but hey ho. So she is standing in the playground at pickup. I say hello, chat for a few minutes then get swept up in the chaos of collecting kids, bags, artwork etc etc. When I turn around she is swapping phone numbers with one of the other mums and talking about getting together. I go off to say something to a teacher; when I come back she has gone.

So I think, well she's clearly not interested in meeting up with me, it's not as if our kids are good friends or anything, but I'm fucked if I'm going to be used as a taxi service cum tourist information. So I block her on facebook. I feel very sad and upset at this, which surprises me, but we don't have a lot in common apart from the school.

This morning she has sent me a text message, nice as pie asking if we can get together for a gossip. No mention of hmm, can't seem to get you on Messenger which is how we normally communicate.

If I am being cynical I think she has realised that the kids at state schools are still at school, and therefore not around for get togethers during the day. And the kids at private schools have, in large part, gone on holiday as soon as term ended. We are one of the few people left.

However on the flip side I have no major plans for the next week or so, and the kids would enjoy getting together. So I could be cutting off my nose to spite my face if I ignore her.

So, wise MNers, it's over to you. What would you do?

MurielWoods Thu 09-Jul-15 16:15:15

Not really a dilemma, you don't owe this lady anything. Nor she you.

It's a casual relationship at best.

If a few play dates next week would suit you and your DC's then go for but then leave it there.

ThumbWitchesAbroad Thu 09-Jul-15 16:18:25

Yes I agree - if the children want to get together with hers, then arrange accordingly but don't go out of your way to see her specifically.

chumbler Sat 11-Jul-15 07:47:31

lol at "I go off to say something to the teacher" - sounds like you were telling off her! wink

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