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Desp need advice - 6 weeks preg and dont know what to do

(7 Posts)
lilmssophis Tue 30-Jun-15 17:32:56

Hi all

I wondered if anyone could offer some advice

I am 6 weeks pgnt, early 30's and it was unplanned (Morning after pill failed)

I'm facing a huge dilemma around whether to continue the preg or not.

I have been with partner for 10 months, he is from Oz and said he is desp to move back asap. Finance isnt an issue. I knew he wanted to go back when we first got together and it was an exciting prospect - but that was when it was just me - so I'd be able to leave if it didnt work out.

However, I don't know if I can have this baby, and build a new life in Oz all in a space of two years. Once I am there I will be trapped, he won't want to come back.

I know i want children one day and I know he is a great guy - but I don't feel as though there is a huge unbreakable bond between us tbh.

I could get back with my ex who I still care for deeply.

I am so stuck and I don;t know what to do for the best ,I am scared about making the wrong descision and if I don't know how I feel now i can;t imagine anything changing in 2 years.

SHould I just have the baby, stay here see what he does

Should I terminate and get back with the ex I still love (together for over 6 years and also a very lovely chap)

I told my partner that I wont be going to Oz for at least three years and thats even if I want to go at all. Once i am there it will be permanant.

Do you really bond with your baby over time? What if i regret having it...

sorry if I sound really selfish and spoilt - im not. just scared of making the wrong decision.

Thanks in advance x

PotteringAlong Tue 30-Jun-15 17:43:12

1. Don't go to Oz. They can stop you leaving with children once you're there.

2. Split up with the father. If you're in love with someone else how is that fair?

3. Do you want the baby? You need to answer honestly to be able to decide your next steps.

chumbler Tue 30-Jun-15 18:51:48

why are you with someone when you love someone else?

baby is a separate issue really. maybe ask yourself - would you regret having the baby? would you regret a termination? why feels worse to you?

FriendofBill Fri 03-Jul-15 18:34:12

Why did you break up with your ex?

purplemurple1 Fri 03-Jul-15 18:41:02

Tbh in your position id split with you bf and get a termination. If you want to go to oz or wherever just go alone and see if you like it.

TheWildRumpyPumpus Fri 03-Jul-15 19:03:39

So many questions.

Does he know you are pregnant? Obviously you can't just emigrate to Australia without visas etc anyway, but assuming you were allowed in, had his baby, you then wouldn't be able to leave with the child without his permission if you broke up.

Would your ex be willing to take on another man's child?

Do you want a baby at all?

GammaDelta Fri 10-Jul-15 13:10:17

Its a very bad thing to say but i would prefer to not have a child if there are so many issues. will you be able to support this child on your own of needed.

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