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really upset. angry. Alone

(25 Posts)
babybooboo123 Thu 25-Jun-15 11:32:31

right I have bad pnd. no bond with daughter. shes 2 years old. i have 3 children. I cant stand her. When ever shes a wake by ds crys as she attacks him. When u tell her off she bites and makes my 27week ds bleed . she is EVIL. she doesn't sleep good at night and all she does is cry for daddy's attention. I had enough . I have got to the stage where I dont want her in my life . if it was down to me she would be gone! but the only reason she isn't is cuz of her daddy. we fall out everyday cuz of her. and cuz of her receiving all dads attention my sons don't get any. she pulls on dads leg she gets picked up. son does that its get off my leg and stop pulling my clothes ... I actually do hate her. judge me or don't. I don't care wwud? ? xx

babybooboo123 Thu 25-Jun-15 11:36:59

The only time everyone is happy and laughing and smiling is when shes asleep. I know it makes me sound horrible but I have had enough. my dh does NOT support or help me. I AM 21-YEAR-OLD with 3 kids under 4. I do the house work the lot he just sits there playing with her and ignoring my sons even when their crying!!!! so yeah go a head and judge me. I got bigger fish to fry. x

susiedaisy Thu 25-Jun-15 11:39:36

Go to Gp get help for your Pnd please, ask for help dealing with your daughters behaviour if you feel overwhelmed by it, this situation can't carry on its not healthy for any of you. No judging' I had Pnd and now have an ongoing battle with depression so I know how incredibly hard this can be. But you aren't alone. thanks

RainbowFlutterby Thu 25-Jun-15 11:41:49

I know this is going to sound shitty, but in the nicest possible way... Can you make an appointment with a doctor? It's the pnd bit that caught my eye the most and that's nothing to be ashamed of at all.

Wishful80sMontage Thu 25-Jun-15 11:45:06

Don't think any of us will judge you op that sounds incredibly hard plus pnd on top- I think you need some support ASAP. Can you go to your gp- are you getting any help for the pnd?

DeladionInch Thu 25-Jun-15 11:45:25

Personally I'd be straight down the GP asking for help with the pnd. Then up the children's centre for a referral to home start. They probably run a young parents group so you can talk to real people, maybe make some friends in the same boat, and they might be able to get you on a positive parenting course to help you with ways to manage her behaviour. If nothing else somebody should make you a brew and pass the tissues flowers

Hayou applied for 2+ funding? If you qualify, that'll get her 15 hours a week at nursery or preschool.

babybooboo123 Thu 25-Jun-15 11:46:03

I been to GP they gave me anti depressants tablets. feel no different .

babybooboo123 Thu 25-Jun-15 11:48:36

she is eligible for 2 4 u but as we dont have any transport we cant get kids anywhere theirs no buses no taxis. dont get me wrong I love where I live. but fuck me am trapped

LadyDeadpool Thu 25-Jun-15 11:52:30

How long have you been on the tablets? They can take up to 6 weeks to kick in. I understand the resentment you feel but you have to understand its not your daughters fault she's 2 and this too shall pass. In the mean time I think you need a chat with your partner if he's not pulling his weight and perhaps a referral for counselling sometimes talking to someone who is neutral can really help.

jeee Thu 25-Jun-15 11:55:20

You desperately need real life help - go back to the gp, speak with your hv. If all else fails walk into A & E. Scream, shout, be honest about how terrible you feel. But please, please get help now.

Groovee Thu 25-Jun-15 11:57:56

Google Panda's support group, they may have a branch near you x

RainbowFlutterby Thu 25-Jun-15 11:58:35

Anti depressants can take a long time to kick in - but please don't be afraid to go back to your GP if you feel they're not working for you. Both my DM and I have been on ADs during our lives and in both our cases it took a while to find the right type and the right dose. Don't give up. flowers

tinymeteor Thu 25-Jun-15 12:11:24

Your 2 year old is not evil. She's a child. That's the PND talking, and it's why you need some more help fast. Get back to the GP and tell them everything. You can't go on as you are.

tinymeteor Thu 25-Jun-15 12:12:57

Posted too soon.

And you shouldn't have to cope with it all yourself - tell DH to step up and come to the doc with you. You aren't alone. Good luck.

fattymcfatfat Thu 25-Jun-15 12:14:02

you need help with the pnd and I'm in no place to judge, 23, due DC3 in four weeks was pregnant at 16 with my oldest, my DD is only 18 months (and she too can be a demon, especially with biting) I'm lucky that I have not experienced pnd and I have support close by.
thanks for you, and I know it's easier said than done but seek help and be honest about how bad things are

Stinkersmum Thu 25-Jun-15 12:24:13

OP you've only been on the tablets less than two weeks. Give them a chance to kick in.

spanky2 Thu 25-Jun-15 16:18:30

I am three weeks in on a higher dose of antidepressants and can't see much improvement. I felt just like you with ds2 when he was two and three. I ended up being referred to cahms by my doctor. Partly it was my depression as I didn't have the energy to deal with him or authentic love for him. Also it was because I couldn't deal with his angry tantrums. I got some counselling as it was a legacy of my abusive upbringing that was making me unable to parent him through the tantrum. He is now eight and I love him and love spending time with him.
Get the book 'raising a spirited child' so helpful and funny. Make an area where your dd can go to let off steam safely. Ds2s was under his cabin bed. He also had a squidgy stress release toy he could pound. We would say use your words not your hands and feet. He was a kicker and puncher !
A lot of this is depression so maybe go back to the doctor. Do you have a friend who could watch your dcs while you have a nap a couple of days a week?

babybooboo123 Fri 26-Jun-15 09:49:53

thank you for your replies . and thank you all not for judging me. I am going back to the doctorate next week so I will tell the Dr how I feel. I will defiantly have a look at the book you mentioned. I loved her to death last night I put her in the bath with me and she loved it. she was smiling and laughing. That's what I want her to do all the time. but guess what her dad wasn't there so that the main reason why she did it! I doubt blame her dad but god he doesn't half make it harder for me. X

FriendofBill Fri 26-Jun-15 09:56:03

I was going to ask what your relationship was like with your folks, but you said it there, it was abusive.
What is DH relationship with his parents like? We are inclined to follow patterns.

Are there any groups in your area?
Sure start?
Can you pile down to the park for lunch?
Staying in seems to make things a lot harder ime.

Have you got relatives or friends around? Does DH?

msb123 Tue 30-Jun-15 18:29:59

Try contacting you're local sure start children's Centre. The family workers will come to your home to support you so transport won't be an issue. If you are not sure where your local one is ring your health visitor and ask them. Let them know about your depression, they are there to help, all the sure start workers I've met have been fantastic x

babybooboo123 Fri 03-Jul-15 15:03:33

friendofbill. thank you for your replie my husband is a lot older than me. he has onpy gt his brother but he lives 100miles away. he loved his mum and dad dearly but they passed and his sister died a year ago from drugs. so neither of us have no1. i have recently been back intouch with my dad but hes going though a hard time as his new gf if pregnant and they are having a bit of trouble with social services. where i live there are no buses taxi or no means of transport. my 6 neigbours are over 70years old no one my age or no one my kids ages. there are no parks or schools for miles and miles. i would walk places but honesly i live down a dirt track really narrow steep windy roads . with over hanging trees and woods. i have been intouch with children centre and sure start and they cant help. i have contacted primary schools to see if they could help with kids getting to school they said were out of the critira. there is nothing to do just sit out side or looking at the same 4 walls day in day out. my husband wont buy a car as he said we wont afford one. nor will he move for this isolated house. in no so many words my husband calls ALL the shots. yes as i said hes older. he also thinks that the woman cleans .looks after the children. cooks. basically do everythings apart from bringing the money in.. he doesnt do a tap.... and when i do have a break from housework and kids i will watch telly if theres anything on i want to watch. but when i do that. its fucking hell i'll take the washing out the washing machine or the dryer,,, i dont have any time for me and im always tired and stressed so i dont fancy sex, he wont talk to me for days or talk to me like im a child, i am fucked off, hes stuck in the 50s, its one rule for me and my sons and i different one for my daugter and him!! sorry for the rant smile

DeladionInch Fri 03-Jul-15 16:07:18

I'm not surprised you've got pnd tbh, sounds like a lot of it might be situational!!

FriendofBill Fri 03-Jul-15 22:47:54

i agree with previous poster that it might be situational.

Is there any way you could move?
If you can't get the chikdren to school you will have to move at some point as it is argan requirement.

Are you happy with him calling all the shots?
What would you like to do?
Any ideas about how you could move forward?

A car does sound the simplest option...

FriendofBill Fri 03-Jul-15 22:48:22

A legal requirement (not argan!)

TRexingInAsda Thu 16-Jul-15 22:18:07

Your boys are getting love from you but your dd isn't, so please don't be upset when her dad is loving to her. She's 2, she needs love and affection (even if she's really naughty) and especially if she's not getting it from you.

If your tablets aren't working - and they clearly aren't - you need to see your dr again and try something else. You shouldn't be feeling like this, believe me, I've been there. Get something else from the dr, and let your dd's daddy look after her, try not to resent that, but at the same time, it would be good for you to spend some 1 to 1 time with her (if he can take care of the boys), so you can get your bond back. Maybe google how to get the bond back with your dd as well - it's a very common thing and there are ways you can mend things.

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