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Need some relationship advice. Feeling anxious

(3 Posts)
AmbleBramble Tue 16-Jun-15 00:32:07

To cut a long story short... I am in a realationship with someone who is a number Of years younger than me he's 23 and I'm 30 and although we have been in a relationship for only 16 months, he moved in very quickly. I wanted my own space and insinuated this but he was very insistent he stayed near every night. We moved in together after only 3 months of being together. I was just out of a really bad relationship with my ex of nearly 3 years at this point. Although I wasn't wanting anything serious I believed to seize the moment and see how things go. I feel guilty even writing his but I feel the relationship has lost its spark. We never sleep together, he's quite immature and when it comes to sex he kind o makes my skin crawl. I get annoyed with him very easily...sex lasts barely a minute if we do have and I feel like I'm getting all worked up over nothing... Like something is missing. Something that hasn't really been there at all. Like I feel like our connection should be stronger. Over the past 5 years I have known a man who has been in my life. He is near enough the same age as myself. We click. He is very sweet and he has always been there me through thick and thin. I have found myself to have fallen in love with him. I guess we have always known we were going to be together but not in the sense that I was to be unfaithful. I fell for him 4 years ago and because I bad timing things just couldn't be. We stopped talking for a good year or so... I was at a party not too long ago and he was there. All we did was talk and talk the whole night about the past and what were upto etc and now I just can't seem to get him off my mind at all. He told me he liked me a month or so again. I wanted to say the same back but I didn't want to initiate anything . When we briefly had a fling a few years back the sex was amazing. He was amazing but because I couldn't leave my abusive ex at the time it fizzled out. He's never had a girlfriend or even sleep with anyone since me and that was a good while ago...
When I wake up I think of him. When I sleep he's there in my head and I just can't seem to stop thinking of him. I feel bad about the situation. Part of me feels very guilty if I was to break it off with my boyfriend because at the moment we are going through I'vf (egg retrieval) treatment and I'm half way through and feeling very doubtful confused . My head is running circles. I was hoping someone with a similar situation or experience could help but I can't help but feel or know I could be so happ happy with him.

jabbsy Tue 16-Jun-15 01:19:11

Why are you doing ivf with someone you like so little. They will be a father to your child and therefore tied to you for the rest of your lives. I would consider that before worrying about the some relationship that I'm not even sure what the question is... clearly you should stop dicking about with your life and get on with that. But first.... the child you are trying to conceive, having treatment for.... with someone you don't even like. Change it!!!

Newbrummie Thu 18-Jun-15 22:57:54

It's very very hard being the mother of a child who is50% of somebody who makes you want to vomit and your skin crawl .... The poor child will display characteristics of the person who you at best don't like.
Please get out of this relationship ASAP for everyone's sake but mainly your own

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