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Deciding whether to have a baby?!

(3 Posts)
Sapphire18 Sun 14-Jun-15 14:28:58

I literally can't stop thinking through the decision of whether to have a baby. I am hoping if I get it all out here and get others' thoughts it will help me to decide.

DH and I are both 30. Feeling increasingly broody, like what I can only describe as a 'baby hunger'! DH says jobs and houses can wait, can happen any time, but fertility is time limited and why don't we just get on with it. I am simultaneously excited and daunted by this decision.

First part of the dilemma - job:

DH has a full time job with a salary of about £19k before tax. I also work full time on £23k but my contract is due to end in about 10 months. I would get maternity pay but during the maternity leave my contract would end so in effect I'd have no job to return to and would have to job hunt from maternity leave - that's the main thing I am nervous about incase I cannot find a job / it's too stressful job searching with a newborn. However am also thinking perhaps I would want a different job from what I currently have (e.g. part time) so maybe job hunting is no bad thing.

Other part of the dilemma - house:

DH and I have always said that although we have the money to buy a house, we'll hold off doing this until I have a more stable job. This is mainly because we're aware that my next job search (when this contract ends) could mean I need to widen the net and search nationwide not just locally.

DH is up for us TTC now with the chance I am job searching from maternity leave. He thinks we should delay buying a house so my next job search can be wider and potentially more fruitful. I feel nervous at the prospect of that with a new baby, i.e. would rather be settled with our own house when baby is born. DH says I am maybe being too rigid in my thinking, should be open to moving places, and there is nothing wrong with having a baby in the 2 bed flat we rent.

I can't decide whether to hold off TTC until new job is sorted, house bought, but who knows how long that could be! Also worried the next job could be a short term contract and therefore the same dilemma.

Or whether to TTC now, knowing it could take a while, or that it could mean job searching from maternity leave.

sharonthewaspandthewineywall Sun 14-Jun-15 14:31:09

I wouldn't buy a house yet as it puts far more pressure on you to be earning a set amount and that is really stressful when looking for a job.
I wouldn't hang about tbh

Sapphire18 Sun 14-Jun-15 14:33:20

@Sharonthewaspandthewineywall Our mortgage payments would actually be less than the rent though...
Big dilemma is: I would like a house before baby. House ties us to a specific area which limits job search. Getting pregnant now means having to job search from maternity leave which is a bit daunting.

We're both super broody though, and scared of missing the boat re: fertility, or taking a while to conceive.

Head and heart saying different things!!

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