Im bloody fuming! DS 12 lives with dad, long story but his choice. Im not happy about it. he has a social worker and a family support worker. Excluded from school and attends a pupil learning centre (when hes in!) He has a child in need plan. Hes sent home regular for use of this bloody e-cig! I hate them, Ive told him he has NOT to bring them to my house. Just found out - dads partner buys them for him!!! Not crappy ones either, these great big tank things at £25 a go. Part of the plan states he must not be allowed to smoke them and we mustn't encourage it!
To say Im furious is an absolute understatement.
How do I approach this. No chance of discussing this with either the ex or her, they just aren't approachable - their way or no way kinda thing.
If he's using an ecig regularly he was almost certainly smoking beforehand, sorry. Vanishingly few regular vapers, including children, are never-smokers.
Do you have much contact with your DS? Can you discuss this with him directly?
I don't know how the SW or FSW would view it. If he has been smoking beforehand (or is still smoking now) I would hope they would view it as the massive harm-reduction tool that it is - it's around 95% safer than smoking, even given the most cautious 'what ifs'. Unfortunately there is a bit of a propaganda war going on wrt ecigs and a lot of people in public health view them as a threat so they may treat it the same as smoking. This would be wrong.
This is a really useful article for parents who are worried about DC and ecigs.
It sounds like a horrible situation all round and I hope it gets sorted but if, as is most likely, he is vaping to keep off the fags then that is actually quite a responsible thing for him to be doing and is the least of your worries.
NHS Stop Smoking Services provide support for DC as young as 12 so that's another avenue you could take if he's willing.
It might still be worth considering how you'd react if you found out he had been smoking because it's highly likely he's not telling you everything.
The teen years are tough. It's a very good thing to let your DC know what you are for or against and why but at this age they will also be forming their own opinions and the most important thing you can do is to keep communication channels open and support them to make the safest choices.
Either way, from what you have written, vaping is the least of your problems.
I'm more angry that myself and school are pulling out all the stops the rein his behaviour in and they condone it. Why would you buy a child something like this knowing school are sending him home for having it? I don't understand the mentality of her I really don't. She knows I'm against them.