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DDs friend is a Jehovah's Witness...

(14 Posts)
lemonyone Tue 28-Apr-15 18:26:43


One of DDs best friends is a Jehovah's Witness. She seems lovely (I've met her twice now) and DD is playing with her more and more at school.

Never met the parents and I understand there is no point in inviting her to our house as the parents won't allow mixing out of school.

DDs 9th birthday is coming up. Knowing that JWs don't believe in birthdays and that she won't be allowed to come the question is…Should I send her an invitation anyway?

I feel a bit sad for her that she never gets invitations to parties or other children's houses. My DD could tell the girl to chuck the invite away, but at least she would have been 'included' in some way. Or should I just not invite her at all as it's just rubbing it in that she can't come? DD would like to invite her.

Feel slightly torn.

Staywithme Tue 28-Apr-15 18:30:41

For goodness sake just send the invite to the wee soul. I'm sure she'll be delighted to get it even if her parents say no. So long as your wee girl understands that she may not be permitted to go. Two lovely elderly Jehovah witnesses used to live across the road from my nephew and would send over a box of sweets every Xmas, so you never know. Your daughter could bring her in a wee treat from the party so she doesn't feel left out.

Moleyjay Tue 28-Apr-15 18:32:02

Personally I would write a note to the parents and say Dd loves playing with your daughter and as it's her birthday would like to invite her to her party. However if this is not in keeping with your religious views would it be possible for your daughter to come to play on another occasion?

lemonyone Tue 28-Apr-15 18:33:47

Thanks Staywithme.

I've had mixed advice from people url, so it's not been an easy decision. My DH feels that it will make the child sadder as she won't be able to come. My best friend thinks I should send it.
It's just a religion I don't know much about, so don't want to offend anyone.

PandaNot Tue 28-Apr-15 18:34:58

She wouldn't come to a birthday party but I know plenty of JW who allow their children to play at other children's houses. Maybe invite her another time?

jaynebxl Tue 28-Apr-15 18:36:40

I'm sure they won't be offended by you making friendly gestures. I lived next door to a girl in a JW family when I was a child for a while and she came to play at our house and I went to hers. Can't remember about birthdays though. Sending an invite shows she was wanted even if they decide not to send her, and I'm not sure all JWs would necessarily not allow children to go to other people's parties.

Muskey Tue 28-Apr-15 18:36:58

Invite her and as pp said if dd friend can't come I am sure inviting her for tea would be a lovely idea. A good friend of mine is a JW and while she doesn't do christmas or birthdays she is one of the kindest people I know.

lemonyone Tue 28-Apr-15 18:37:34

Moleyjay - I've been told my DD that there is no way this girl will be allowed to play at ours as the parents only mix with other JHs out of school. My friend invited the little girl and was declined some time ago.

I don't have the parents contact details. I could slip a note in DDs lunchbox, but I do suspect that they won't say yes. They have actually been in trouble with the school as the younger sister had been bringing in copies of The Watchtower (I guess the junior edition!) and trying to convert my friend's DD! Not too worried about that part of it though.

lemonyone Tue 28-Apr-15 18:39:18

Thank you all, I will send the invitation. And I will put the note in concerning a playdate as an alternative. Perhaps they wouldn't mind if I took the girls on a nature walk?

notquitegrownup2 Tue 28-Apr-15 18:41:17

How about popping the invitation into an envelope for the parents with a covering note, saying that you understand that they are JWs and that you certainly don't want to offend them but you didn't want their dd to feel left out and would love it if she were able to come along, or to come to play one day?

The wee treat from your dd is a lovely idea

notquitegrownup2 Tue 28-Apr-15 18:42:36

Sorry x post - was nattering to ds!

Sounds like a good plan

ilovemargaretatwood8931 Wed 06-May-15 02:22:11

I had a lovely friend at primary school who was JW. I always invited her to parties, and she could never come but she liked to be remembered.

I remember she sometimes had end of school term parties that were brilliant- her parents were lovely and we played loads of great games and the food was great!

ragged Sat 09-May-15 17:53:32

One of DD's best mates is JW, she comes around & DD has been there several times.

I wouldn't invite to a birthday party, they don't want to be rude by refusing, but an ordinary playdate should be fine.

Charis1 Sat 23-May-15 06:58:40

just invite her, they live in the uk, birthday invitations happen all the time in the uk, why are they going to be shocked/surprised/upset etc.

huge over thinking.

Are you one of those people who spends days agonising over whether to send cards to Muslim friends wishing them a happy Christmas???


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