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Relocate to be near parents or not

(8 Posts)
5dogsgoswimming Fri 23-Jan-15 12:23:49

We live in a city about 100 miles away from my folks. They love just outside a city so any move would provide a similar standard of living and give us similar things to do.
We have 2 under 2 at the minute.
Both work, teachers but I'm on mat leave until September.
We have talked about moving to be near my parents for years but have never done it. We are settled where we are although the house needs various improvements. We have spent a lot,

5dogsgoswimming Fri 23-Jan-15 12:25:33

We have spent maybe 25 k on the house so far in the last 3 years.

I am rambling.

How do I go about making a decision to stay or move? A job has come up that my husband fancies and I don't know whether to give the go ahead or not.

How do you make these kinds of decisions when you are completely on the fence?

notsogoldenoldie Fri 23-Jan-15 12:30:16

I think I would, but for the "right" reasons. What are your reasons? Help with childcare? Helping them out in their later years? Wanting them to see dgs on a more regular basis?

I'd check their expectations first and make no assumptions!

BugBugBug Fri 23-Jan-15 12:33:34

We wrote a list of all the reasons to go and all the reasons to stay. We chose to move but because we were so settled in our last town (and we are now 3 hrs away), it has been a really difficult move. For me especially as we've gone back to where DH's are.

It was the right decision but it took a year to feel settled, and I still miss bits of our old lives. It's such a hard decision but I am glad we sat down and made it.

And if we'd left it any longer (house prices here are always on the up but were nearly static where we were), we wouldn't have been able to bridge the gap.

Good luck.

blardyfeck Fri 23-Jan-15 12:43:32

When we moved nearer to my parents, it was one of many reasons we chose a particular area. Other reasons were the quality of local schools, proximity to some friends, significantly more for your money in terms of housing and the town is great for families as there's loads to do in the surrounding areas and it's driving distance to the coast. Ticked all the boxes.

Being close to my parents is nice (and handy for childcare) although they are still far enough away that we appreciate it when we do see each other.

5dogsgoswimming Fri 23-Jan-15 13:08:41

Reasons: help with children and being around when parents are older

They would do anything for us

5dogsgoswimming Fri 23-Jan-15 13:11:02

Something is telling me to stay though. I think it's them massive hassle partly and me finding a job.

BugBugBug Fri 23-Jan-15 14:35:50

You need to look at everything. Housing options, schools, type of community, possible commute, friends (are you going to be close enough to maintain links with old, do you feel up to starting again and making new...?), leisure options (do you have a hobby, can you do it I the new place?), weather (we've moved to a warmer drier area and it has helped to lift my spirits), changes to finances..., jobs

It is a massive hassle. No doubt about it. And you've got to be committed to do it. But equally, it's a hassle for a year of your life, organising everything, and then the hassle of moving is done.

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