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Going back after 23 years

(4 Posts)
Sadandlonely72 Sun 18-Jan-15 09:39:17

I have been married for 20 years, happily in the main. But we have had a rough last 3 years, I nearly lost my job, I lost my father the next year and last year I separated from my wife. She has been diagnosed with OCD and I did nothing to help her get over it, sticking my head in the sand believing that would help. We eventually agreed to part but remain friends. That has been the difficult part, because within a week or so she had met up with her last boyfriend from 23 years ago and has embarked on a full relationship with him, he has failed relationships and kids to various partners and I'm struggle to come to terms with what she's doing. She's lied to me and her family over the last 4 months and at times is still in denial. Last week she told me we'd have another try! But I told her no, even though it killed me. She has put this man ahead of her only child and doesn't even see it. I can accept we're over, she tells me she's no longer attracted to me, but I don't understand the speed of this new relationship, it's like we were together for a few months not 20 odd years. Can anyone offer any help, support or advice because I'm lost.

lljkk Sun 18-Jan-15 09:42:09

Sounds like you are so much better off out of that relationship. I couldn't stay with someone that unstable (more bastard me, I can live with this fact about myself).
I hope the pain subsides soon. Maybe concentrate on relationship with your offspring, that you can salvage.

Sadandlonely72 Sun 18-Jan-15 10:03:50

Thanks, I have a really good relationship with our son and I think that has been part of the problem. What I don't understand is everything that I wanted her to do to help us, she's now doing and thinking it's great. Tbh it seems like she has lost the plot! When we've spoken recently she gets what I'm saying, she says she can listen to me all day cos I talk sense and she knows I'm right, then she totally ignores the advice!! What's that all about. I told her I think she needs help, not to get us back together, that I have asked her to do, but to help herself as I still love her and care for her massively. But she thinks I'm the barmy one!!!

lljkk Sun 18-Jan-15 10:58:00

She's messing with your head, mate. Take care of your own sanity first and foremost.

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