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Groped - should I report to police?

(15 Posts)
Poppyflowe Fri 26-Dec-14 09:04:48

This happened Christmas Eve - I was in crowded local pub collecting my adult dd so we could drive to midnight mass.

A young man - I couldn't ID him - grabbed my bum while his friends jostled me around.

Is it worth reporting to police (on non emergency line) so it is recorded? I felt upset and violated but wonder if it is worth the hassle when the police would not be able to do anything.

mommy2ash Fri 26-Dec-14 13:37:11

sorry for what happened but I really don't think they could do anything.

OmnipotentQueenOfTheUniverse Fri 26-Dec-14 13:46:23

In an ideal world then yes of course it would be reportable.

In real life no I wouldn't and haven't.

1. There is no way of finding him (they aren't about to start asking for CCTV footage are they) and
2. They won't be slightly interested and you will feel like a pratt

FWIW the thing that affected me worst out of all the random sexual stuff was someone who grabbed my crotch in a pub and then him and his mate laughed in my face when I turned round shocked. The little bastards. They will have forgotten after 5 mins I still remember 20 years later angry

So, you're not over-reacting, but personally I don't think there's any point reporting it.

Poppyflowe Fri 26-Dec-14 19:29:17

Thanks. No, the police couldn't do anything, sadly.

I wish I could do something nasty to the little shit who did it though.

OmnipotentQueenOfTheUniverse Fri 26-Dec-14 20:42:02

Yes that's exactly how I felt. It's a horrible feeling isn't it. Little bastards.

Purplehonesty Fri 26-Dec-14 20:49:39

No nothing will happen. The place won't be interested.
However I would have slapped the boy who grabbed my crotch.

OmnipotentQueenOfTheUniverse Fri 26-Dec-14 20:56:14

Are you telling me I reacted incorrectly to being sexually assaulted?

I don't really know where to put that comment TBH.

I can sit here and write a really long post to justify to you why I reacted as I did to something that happened 20 years ago, do I need to do that?

OmnipotentQueenOfTheUniverse Fri 26-Dec-14 21:00:34

You know you share something on here in good faith and then get a comment like that, makes you feel shit TBH.

I have never hit anyone in my life.
It was from behind so I don't know which one of the smirking fuckers did it.
No-one saw (it was very crowded) and so it would have looked like I just randomly walloped someone which would have looked like I was starting it and possibly I would have just got hit back. If it had even crossed my mind to hit anyone, which it didn't, it just didn't for a moment occur to me to hit anyone.
As it was I was just incredibly shocked and didn't really know what to do or say.
I went and told my friends and they told me not to make a fuss about nothing.

There. Is that OK? Or would you like to tell me some more about what I did wrong.

Op might appreciate some comments in the same vein as well, or was her reaction alright?

Bloody hell.

ZombieApocalypse Fri 26-Dec-14 21:22:28

Sadly, probably not. I was on the tube a few weeks back and it was very crowded. I became aware of something pressing against my backside - I should add that on the tube you kind of become used to invasion of personal space so I didn't notice straight away. There was a teenage boy behind me and I'd thought he had a shoulder bag which was pressing against me in the crush. I realised too late it was actually his cock. We'd just pulled into a station and I turned around, he must have spotted that I'd cottoned on and he suddenly shoved his way out of the carriage.

I considered reporting it but I honestly didn't think it would get me anywhere. I didn't see his face (he deliberately turned away) and all I could have said was it was a white guy aged about 16 with dark hair.

WhenSheWasBadSheWasHorrid Fri 26-Dec-14 21:25:54

It's shit but there really isn't any point reporting it.
Try to forget about it

IsabeauMichelle Fri 26-Dec-14 21:30:45

Zombie that's a thing, isn't it? Is it called frottage or frotting or something? I'd love to think I'd call someone out on this kind of stuff but I probably wouldn't.

Purplehonesty Fri 26-Dec-14 21:33:16

Oh god sorry no I wasn't meaning that at all!

I just meant its a shame you can't do anything about it and I would have clocked someone if he had grabbed me. Would have been my gut reaction.

Sorry didn't mean to cause offence.

DancingDinosaur Fri 26-Dec-14 21:36:19

Some bloke grabbed hold of my breast once in a night club. I slapped him and he gave me a black eye and then walked out. So many things I wish I had or hadn't done. Anyway he got away with it, doubt he even remembers it, whilst I still remember it over 20 years later. That was my 18th birthday.

ZombieApocalypse Fri 26-Dec-14 21:40:13

Isabeau had the tube been less crowded I'd have realised a lot sooner and I absolutely would have called him out. It's hard to explain. I was reading and you get used to people being jammed up against you. Once I realised and turned around, which was at the station, he immediately picked up on it and got off the train so it was so quick I didn't have a chance to do anything.

A relative saw a guy taking an upskirt pic of a woman asleep on the tube and reported it. He was arrested but never charged.

OmnipotentQueenOfTheUniverse Fri 26-Dec-14 21:44:38

Ah purple OK sorry I took it as a criticism (obviously!) and just sort of reacted.

Part of it is of course I wish I could've clumped him or given him a piece of my mind or got him thrown out or something, but in the moment I just looked shocked and didn't know what to do really. I think it was because there were 2 of them who were both smirking in my face and of course I had no idea which one it was and it was 2 against 1 and, well anyway, I didn't do anything.

I did give a piece of my mind to a man who started wanking at me on the tube once though.

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