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favouritism to grandchildren WWYD

(6 Posts)
imyourhuckleberry Sun 21-Dec-14 06:52:18

I will try to be brief. DH doesn't have great relationship with his mother. No big arguements or anything but not much in common and quite different personalities.
His mum recently announced they are taking his sister and kids on holiday in Spain. They were quite open about paying for them all to go. There is not even a hint of a suggestion that we are invited even if we paid.
This is not the first time- they holiday together in the UK every year and have been open about giving his DS money quite often.
DH doesn't care but I worry that my DS will notice that he is excluded as he gets older.
I have always made an effort with his family and take my DS to see them without my DH if he is working or busy.
I feel this is really unfair. My MIL has a boyf who also openly admitted he favoured one grandchild in particular and that has been bugging me too...
WWYD?

GingerbreadPudding Sun 21-Dec-14 22:02:34

He might be relieved? I grew up with grandparents who favoured their 'other' grandchildren. I knew there was tension between my grandparents and parents and even at a really young age I was relieved I didn't have to keep seeing these grandparents.

FATEdestiny Sun 21-Dec-14 22:13:43

If his Mum has a closer relationship with her daughter than her son, it is inevitable that the mother will spend more time with daughters family than sons family.

If your DH and his Mum do not get along, why would he want to holiday with her?

Does sister do a lot more for her Mum than your DH does? The holiday may be a thank you for all she does.

Bluebell84 Fri 26-Dec-14 08:53:12

why would u want to go on holiday with your MIL? is this something you really want to do?

leave her to it....I was never favoured by my grandparents, they always preferred their daughters kids (my cousins) whom I have met three times in total. it used to bother me but now I couldn't care less, haven't seen or spoken to them in 20 years.

it would matter to your son and then it wouldn't. more things to worry about smile

mumofthemonsters808 Fri 26-Dec-14 09:24:15

I've had this for many years, my children have never got a look in with their Grandparents.They too have taken their favourite Grandchildren on holidays and days out, I seem to vaguely recall them taking Dd to the local park for 10 minutes but that was as far as it got. Over the years I have winged and moaned about how unfair it was, but it did not change a single thing, it's just the way things are and I finally just come to accept and expect it. They have no relationship with my children, for my two it is just like talking politely to an old dear on the bus.Sometimes I still feel pangs of envy about what could have been, but it's really not worth wasting your breath the only person you will be upsetting is yourself. Leave um to it.

mommy2ash Fri 26-Dec-14 13:36:09

I've had this since my niece was born. my dd was six at the time and very close to my parents as we lived with them till she was four. it really hurt her and I keep my distance as much as I can to shield her from it. this year my dd and I spent Christmas with friends instead of family but dropped up gifts for my mom. I struggled to buy them but every year she lays the guilt on it was much less than I usually spend but as much as I could give. my daughter and I got absolute rubbish in return and she had piles of expensive gifts for my sister niece and her boyfriend. I was so glad I pulled out of a family Christmas as it would have been really humiliating. people who pick favourites and openly show it suck.

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