Posted this on AIBU a few weeks back but things have now changed and I need advise. DS 12 lives with dad,?dad booked a holiday for over Xmas and was only taking him, we have 2 more dc together who live with me but he didn't want to take them. Anyway we are currently going through court and there was a prohibited steps order in place that he couldn't take the dcs out of the country. Both the ex and his solicitor asked me if he could take him and i said no, it wasn't fair on the other two. He said if I paid for them he'd take them! So now DS has kicked off and said he won't come to me over Xmas, he's a troubled boy, defiant and always in trouble at school, hasn't been to school for 4 weeks,truncating etc, he's abusive me me and my my parter and his brother and sister. Since he said he didn't want to come here for Xmas I told ex he could have the order overturned and take him. Pointless him being forced to come to me because we would just ensure a week of bad behaviour, runnin away and it would be miserable for everyone. Ex now says no, it's to late to take him. He's kicked him out before so he can go on holiday, I have a feeling he's now going to do it again. Obviously I won't turn my own child away at Xmas, but would I be completely unreasonable to expect the ex to either take him with I cancel his holiday for the sake of his 12 yr old son?