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Should I go??

(6 Posts)
bumblebeerat Mon 01-Dec-14 07:27:03

Ok this is probably going to make me sound like a boring, antisocial, prude which maybe I kind of am.

My sister is getting married next year and her friends have organised a hen weekend away. The first thing I found out about this was an email saying all about it and that my mum had paid for my tickets which is nice of her.

The problem is I'm worrying myself stupid about going. I've never been to one, they are going to have a stripper and I am a real prude when it comes to nudity. Plus I'm a recovered/ing alcoholic (10yrs without a drink) and the temptation to drink is going to be huge as the reason I drank in the first place was because I can't cope with social situations as I'm really shy. No one knows about my drink problem so they think I don't drink because I have the children to look after.

I know this sounds ridiculous to most people. I've just never been someone who's into clubs and all that. I know I should go for my sister but I know I'm just going to be the sober quite one who's completely out of place. I really thought by the time I'd reached my 30s I'd be past this shyness.

FishWithABicycle Mon 01-Dec-14 07:36:50

How lovely of your mum.
But you are quite right the evening would be very unpleasant for you.
I think you either (a) go along with all the plans with as much enthusiasm as you can muster then pull a sickie on the day claiming a D&V bug and don't go. Or (b) almost the same but fake the D&V bug 24 hrs earlier such that you go along but feel too queasy to drink and have an excuse for being the quiet one in the corner. Or (c) come out to your family as a recovering alcoholic and explain that you don't feel you have the strength to participate without relapsing.

Either way, afterwards ask if you can take your DSis out for a fab hotel cream tea to give her a pre-wedding treat of a less inebriated variety.

BikeRunSki Mon 01-Dec-14 07:51:10

It sounds dreadful. My initial reaction was to fuel yiurself up with booze and to grin and bear it. Clearly this is not an option - my mother is a recovering alcoholic (35 years dry), so I really do understand. I think this is the opportunity to come out to your family, decline the hen do and do something else eith your sister - spa, afternoon tea, long walk and lunch out, theatre etc

Justgotosleepnow Mon 01-Dec-14 08:07:06

It sounds a very stressful situation for you. It would be totally reasonable not to go and take your sister out to lunch or a show & dinner. Something where you can chat with no drinking pressure.

Heck some people hate hen dos even if they don't have your background.

Kikiw123 Thu 04-Dec-14 15:11:56

This reply is what I would 100% agree on.
One if these options is spot in for you.
And well done for your fantastic achievement of staying dry.

I totally get you I'm very shy in social situations and always wriggle out of them. Everyone must think me and my family are riddled with bugs as I always make up upset tummy sad an excuse and them cross my fingers that no one actually gets ill to tempt fate.

Kikiw123 Thu 04-Dec-14 15:13:27

Sorry I meant fishwithabicycles reply ^


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