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Desperate to start again

(4 Posts)
maginly Tue 25-Nov-14 16:19:33

I'm 24 and desperate to start again.

I married my husband in 2013 after being together for 3 years. Things moved all very quickly. I met him literally 3 weeks after getting out of an abusive relationship and was engaged to him within 6 months.

Everything was perfect bliss, apart from the fact he started to hit me too. It started with pinning me down and moved on to dragging me around the house, this was happening before we got married. I kept it to myself because I thought "He is a good man". He pays for my car, he pays for our holidays, he pays for my food, all while I was at University and even to do this, and he doesn't complain. Somehow I thought I deserved it because it was only once in a blue moon and surely the same thing couldn't happen twice without it being my fault?

We got married and bought our first house all in 2013, it's all domestic bliss, until after we got married and things went downhill very fast.

He complains about money all the time now. Even though I work part-time because I've my manic depression and he brings home about £3k after tax. We are not hard up, we can pay our bills and afford luxuries.
He's become so boring, we don't go out to eat or watch films, the only time he moves from the sofa is to shower from when he gets home.
He expects dinner on the table when he gets in and the house to be spotless, he can be rude and irrational on purpose (which both of our families have seen).

I'm a VERY hard person to live with because of my mental health, I also have other health problems too.

I've tried talking to him, I've tried threatening, I've tried to bring him to marriage counselling, I've tried taking us out on dates, I've tried just keeping quiet. But as far as he is concerned, he is "Happy".

What makes it worse is that I've made it ALL worse, a few months ago I started flirting with a life-long friend and now Life-Long Friend wants to make a go of things (He was "the one that got away").

So now I'm sitting here wondering what on earth I do now!
Do I divorce my husband and keep myself to myself and move on or do I just keep at it until the day I die?

Lagoonablue Tue 25-Nov-14 16:23:40

You should leave this man right away. Don't get involved with anyone else yet. Make a life for yourself away from this horrible man who a uses you. Check out womens aid for advice.

NannyAnna Fri 28-Nov-14 20:25:10

Leave him and do what makes you happy! It's good you don't hVe children with him, I would be gone and spending time with life long friend. Good luck

WingsofNylon Sat 27-Dec-14 22:35:33

Leave him and stay away from relationships for a while. You need to learn more about yourself and what matters to you Before being with anyone else.

It won't be easy but you absolutely need to leave him. Do not use it as a threat with.

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