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Christmas card for a bereaved family

(25 Posts)
dontgetsickpay Tue 18-Nov-14 13:12:04

Hello.

My cousin died a couple of months ago.

He was only 24...

This Christmas will be really hard for his parents and siblings.
But still want to get them a christmas card.
Has anyone have any ideas of where they sell cards that say something like.
Thinking of you at Christmas or something.

Every card seems to be jolly and I really dont want to send one of those kinda cards.

Many thanks

dontgetsickpay Tue 18-Nov-14 17:15:07

Anyone please?

thornrose Tue 18-Nov-14 17:16:59

I've bought similar cards. Most card shops like Clintons sell them, look in the bereavement section rather than the Christmas card section.

PestoStormissimos Tue 18-Nov-14 17:17:31

I would use a normal 'toned-down' (or boring) Christmas card and then just write your own personal message inside.

thornrose Tue 18-Nov-14 17:17:45

Oh and I meant to say, sorry about your cousin. flowers

amy83firsttimer Tue 18-Nov-14 17:19:42

I personally don't think that you need to put anything different in their card than anyone else's but I'm a heartless bitch so feel free to ignore me!
I presume you sent a card at the time / attended the funeral, so that's that sorted, just keep Xmas card greeting not tooooo jolly and that should be fine.
Or
..... Get a Xmas card with no message in and write something nice. It's so easy to get wrong though. (brushes feelings under carpet and carries on.....)

gymboywalton Tue 18-Nov-14 17:20:30

this is very thoughtful
yes to something like a picture of a robin or a star or something rather than santa

nothing with happy christmas on

my dad died at christmas and we had christmas cards arriving alongside sympathy cards and it was very hard

OldBeanbagz Tue 18-Nov-14 17:28:14

I think a normal Christmas scene card would be ok, maybe with a note to let them know you're thinking about them. Do you live close? I assume you sent a card at the time?

I know older friends who've found the first Christmas incredibly difficult. Not just being without their loved one but also getting cards with their name on from people who didn't know they'd died sad

silverfingersandtoes Tue 18-Nov-14 17:28:58

I think some people dealt with this difficulty by just not sending us cards. I really appreciated the simple cards which did come, with little notes or messages inside just saying that they were "thinking of us", or that we "would be in their thoughts". Nothing elaborate.

Redglitter Tue 18-Nov-14 17:29:31

Go for either a plain card and write something simple in it or opt for one with something like Thinking of you at Christmas. As someone else said go for a normal toned down one.

The first Christmas after my dad died we got loads of beautiful cards but just normal ones that didn't make a fuss but didn't have things like Have a Wonderful Christmas. Mind you we got some of those too hmm

MonstrousRatbag Tue 18-Nov-14 17:30:28

Well, I'm in this position (1st Christmas without a beloved family member) and I'd be very sad not to get cards at all. I vote for a simple card with no 'Merry/Happy Christmas' message but a short message from you.

OldBeanbagz Tue 18-Nov-14 17:30:48

How about something like this simple card or this photo card?

Viviennemary Tue 18-Nov-14 17:31:33

I don't think I'd get them a special bereavement Christmas card. Just get an ordinary one but make sure the message is appropriate. I agree with a toned down ordinary card.

magpiegin Tue 18-Nov-14 17:32:20

I lost a close family member who was in her 30s this year. Personally I would want a normal happy card. A somber one would depress me even more.

dontgetsickpay Tue 18-Nov-14 18:10:57

The family aren't celebrating Christmas as such. They are going to have a tree and do presents but it's just for the kids...

Wouldn't feel right not sending one.

Ofcourse I sent a card at the time and went to the funeral. He was my cousin.

Iv ordered a special baubal to go on there tree too

Just thinking ahead. Many thanks

Wishtoremainunknown Tue 18-Nov-14 18:16:34

I lost a much loved relative this year. We (including his DW) intend on carrying on Christmas as much as possible since he would have wanted that.

Perhaps avoiding cards with messages like happy Christmas on would be good.

Wishtoremainunknown Tue 18-Nov-14 18:17:24

Oh just seen your post. I think I'd still want to send them something. A winter scene type card ?

BikeRunSki Tue 18-Nov-14 18:23:37

My dad died in mid December many years ago. I don't think we opened any cards that year. But in your position, I would look for a card with a dove, and write a simple message inside, along the lines of "we are thinking of you with love, all our best wishes".

BaffledSomeMore Tue 18-Nov-14 18:36:33

I have at least one similar card to send this year. I'll opt for something with a star or winter scene. No Happy/Merry greeting and no comedy scene. Inside I will put something like "Wishing you a peaceful Xmas and we will be raising a glass to <name> during the holidays"
And I do usually have a toast to those who are missing every year.

dontgetsickpay Tue 18-Nov-14 19:07:57

Some links would be great from anyone in the know please

Penguinsaresmall Tue 18-Nov-14 19:16:57

I lost a parent just before christmas when I was in my early teens.

It was actually quite bizarre how some people were at the funeral and/or sent sympathy cards, then a week or so later were sending us 'Happy Christmas!' cards... Tbh I don't think they made me feel any worse than I already did, but it did feel quite insensitive.

I would just send a plain card, maybe of a winter scene, no message inside, and just write your own message that you're thinking of them at this difficult time.

Sorry for your loss op

dontgetsickpay Wed 19-Nov-14 09:32:03

.

gymboywalton Wed 19-Nov-14 18:48:36

something like this would be perfect i think
www.marksandspencer.com/thinking-of-you-winter-christmas-card/p/p22328095

TSSDNCOP Wed 19-Nov-14 18:56:51

I would also reference your cousin in the card writing something like:

Thinking of you all, and particularly X, with love this Christmas.

From Dontgetsickpay x

starfishmummy Wed 19-Nov-14 19:02:20

I would get an ordinary card with a fairly bland message and then add something personal

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