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DS sleepover with girlfriend

(10 Posts)
PingPongBat Mon 17-Nov-14 07:33:05

DS is just 15. Has had a GF for 3 & half months. He wants to go to a sleepover at her house, just him. Her mum knows that they are GF & BY, but apparently her dad doesn't hmm , not sure why.

Anyway, would you speak to her parents to make sure they are OK with this, that they will be there etc?

He's been for other sleepovers (with lots of people there) recently & I haven't spoken to the parents as I would have done when he was younger.

This is new territory for me so please be gentle smile smile

duckwalk Mon 17-Nov-14 13:33:21

Hmmm personally I wouldn't allow it. He's only 15, under the age of consent. Maybe they're not at that stage yet to be experimenting sexually but by allowing him to go you could potentially be (indirectly) encouraging them to go down that line. Have you discussed sex education with him? Does he know the health risks associated with unprotected sex, along with pregnancy? You don't know if this girl is clued up and responsible either.
Plus, if her dad doesn't know they're datingthen I'd definitely steer clear of allowing him to go.

duckwalk Mon 17-Nov-14 13:40:06

Ps, her mum may well enforce a different-room rule so I really suggest you speak to her and maybe find out why her DH doesn't know they're dating. That way you'd be able to make a more informed decision.

PingPongBat Mon 17-Nov-14 16:16:57

He says it will be separate rooms (sorry, I meant to say this in my OP) - so there's no suggestion that he's contemplating any sexual activity. In fact he's adamant that there won't be!

duckwalk Tue 18-Nov-14 12:12:50

Hmmm. Well definitely arrange to speak to his gf's mum before coming to any decision. Personally I'd still be inclined to say he can't stay over, but it's completely your decision as his parent. Let me know what you decide xx

PingPongBat Tue 18-Nov-14 19:25:03

I've spoken to the GF's mum and she's assured me it's separate rooms - her older son is at Uni so she appreciates the issues I was worried about! Very helpful & reassuring. I haven't spoken to the Dad (well, I did, but as soon as I mentioned what I was ringing about he said 'oh I'd better put you onto my wife' - not in a suspicious / nasty way at all) but DS, on further grilling, says he's just very protective. The GF has anxiety issues & is having counselling, so that's not surprising.

It was definitely the right thing to do to speak to her Mum. Thanks for your thoughts on this ams81!

ForTheLoveOfSocks Tue 18-Nov-14 19:44:56

I don't understand why he wants to stay over? Sleep overs are for mucking about with your mates until daft o'clock. As they will be in seperate rooms it seems a bit pointless. He might as well come home at bedtime

ScrambledEggAndToast Tue 18-Nov-14 19:47:56

As ForTheLoveOfSocks says, seems a bit pointless if they are sleeping in different rooms. Maybe they are planning some late night bed hopping which is definitely what you don't want (don't mean that to sound flippant, that's what I would be worried about if it was me).

ForTheLoveOfSocks Tue 18-Nov-14 19:48:44

And if he is daft enough to sneak into her room, you don't know how her dad will react. We are all guilty of making spur of the moment decisions we never thought we would make when thinking about it rationally. Sometimes rational thinking goes out of the window when teenage lust comes into play

ForTheLoveOfSocks Tue 18-Nov-14 19:53:19

If he wants to spend time with her, why not offer an alternative? Maybe offer to let them go for a meal and maybe bowling? Try and make it sound more grown up and it may work

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