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Should I see this through or let it drop?

(11 Posts)
Mynxie Tue 19-Aug-14 20:36:25

Not sure whether to let this one go or not, but my instincts are telling me to hang on in there

My 9 month pregnant DIL needed to use the loo as a matter of some urgency whilst in a local park. There is a private gym within the park which promotes a family friendly image on its website, offering swimming classes for babies amongst other things. She was actually refused use of their facilities - she actually asked twice as she couldn't believe they wouldn't let her! Both times was told no after having been looked up and down and made to feel humiliated. She wasn't looking to use the staff room, just the members facilities.

The baby was born a week later and it was very obvious she was pregnant at the time (although even if she'd only been a month or so pregant and not even showing she should still have been allowed to use their facilities in an emergency IMO)

When this was brought to my attention I was furious!
I wrote to the MD of the gym who said she would investigate. When she didn't come back to me I chased her up by email and she eventually replied saying that she'd asked her staff and they all denied turning away a pregant woman. My DIL has texts on her phone relating to what happened sent at the time it happened.

I'm not looking for any 'reward' but a proper written apology for her and an admission that she was treated badly, that's all. I also want to make sure such an incident doesn't happen to any other mum to be.

Obviously my DIL is very tied up with her very new baby and not inclined to waste cuddling time on following this up, especially as she is very young and was very embarrassed by the incident.

What would you do if you were me - Should I just let it drop, or would you carry on till you got the apology (for her, not me!) you were looking for?

HumblePieMonster Tue 19-Aug-14 20:43:19

One more direct contact saying you will be briefing the local press to raise awareness of the need to be more supportive of mums generally, and you'd like to have a positive outcome to mention when you talk about your daughter in law's experience.

Having babies is natural, many women do it, most will need to get to the toilet urgently. I remember 32+ years ago, one merciful cleaning lady helping me skip the queue in a Manchester store because at seven months gone there was no way I'd be able to wait my turn... if they didn't want wet feet I had to be next in!

HumblePieMonster Tue 19-Aug-14 20:43:49

My point being - do make a campaign of it.

Heyho111 Wed 20-Aug-14 09:09:09

Let it go. The MD has probably asked everyone and they all denied it to save themselves. The result will be that they won't do it again.
Your feeling very over protective and that's making you feel like you need to do more.
Put it to bed and enjoy your new grandchild.

Chumhum Wed 20-Aug-14 09:11:13

Let it drop.

expatinscotland Wed 20-Aug-14 09:11:58

Let it drop. It's a private business, they don't have to permit anyone to come in and use a toilet, nor apologise for it.

expatinscotland Wed 20-Aug-14 09:12:50

The press involved, because a business isn't supportive of 'mums'?


cungryhatterpillar Wed 20-Aug-14 09:21:39

Let it go and focus on enjoying your grandchild.

Jumblebee Wed 20-Aug-14 09:30:08

It's illegal to refuse a pregnantuu woman to use the toilet isn't it? I would be furious. I would wait to see if she replies with an apology and if she doesn't just never take your business there.

If it were me I probably would have said they either let me pee in their toilets or I'd pee on their carpet.

Jumblebee Wed 20-Aug-14 09:30:39

*pregnant, crazy touch screen phone!

BringMeSunshine2014 Wed 20-Aug-14 09:37:08

It wouldn't occur to me to make this much fuss over a private company refusing to let someone (pregnant or not) off of the street use their facilities. The person on the desk was either an arse or was worried that they shouldn't let someone in that wasn't a member - whichever, just Let It Go.

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