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Next door neighbour.....

(8 Posts)
Kimberley00001 Sun 03-Aug-14 18:06:18

I live in a h/a house and have done for 4 years .
I'm early 30s and partner is early 40s
I live there with my partner and daughter who is secondary school age and has asd and slight lds.
The problem is our next door neighbour ,she is in her 60s and lives with her daughter.
She also has a son who as far as I know does not live there but every day with out fail he will sit out side in the front of next doors house often for hours ,no matter what weather .
What usually happens is he will knock on the door asking his mum for money (he is an alcoholic ) and she will usually speak to him for a few minutes telling him she has no money etc then she will slam the door ,so outside he sits until he gets fed up etc.
It happens every day and can be early in the morning or late at night .he has been known to shout through letterbox swearing and tbh I'm really sick of it !
He doesn't have his own home he's been sofa surfing for the 4 years I've been here and I do suspect he uses drugs aswell .
I don't feel safe here and it's awkward for my daughter to have friends round as I have to explain why he's there .
We have contacted the ha they said they can't do anything until he does something like damage our property or threaten us etc.
We have spoke to next door and she has said she will talk to him but it hasn't done any good ,he has been sleeping in the garden next door for 3 weeks so she said which is unnerving tbh.
Any advice appreciated x

midnightagents Mon 04-Aug-14 08:27:16

Tbh I think you just have to suck it up. Is he threatening or abusive to you? If so you have a case to involve authorities. If not, unfortunately it is just one of those things. You wouldn't ask a homeless person to move off the street would you? You can't ask this man to move just because he is in close proximity to your house. It is really your neighbours responsibility as its presumably her area he is hanging around on.

Very confused about you worrying how to explain it to your dd's friends confused surely they know that there are people in the world with problems and less than perfect lives? You said they were secondary school age, you're not going to disturb them by telling them the truth! You can't blot people out because they are not to your taste, we live in a society fraught with problems and inequality, these people have a right to be even if they make you uncomfortable.

UriGeller Mon 04-Aug-14 08:43:17

If he's homeless he has no where else to go! I think you are bring a bit intolerant.

Sitting on his mums garden wall all day seems a very lonely existence, especially if he can tell the neighbours are peering at him suspiciously.

Personally, i'd take him out a cup of tea.

Patrickstarisabadbellend Mon 04-Aug-14 08:48:07

I would feel intimidated tbh. The back garden would probably be be different if it was enclosed.

It sounds like antisocial behaviour, especially with the swearing.

grobagsforever Mon 04-Aug-14 12:17:45

This woman lets her son sleep in the garden? How sad that he's not allowed in house :-( Heartbreaking.

SirRaymondClench Mon 04-Aug-14 16:27:46

Should imagine if this woman is not letting her son in the house, it is for a good reason.
I think most of the other posters on this thread are being a bit deluded. Get a grip people, this man has a drink and drug problem and none of this is Ops concern and why should it be?!
This is her home! It isn't the Ops job to help this man especially if his own family have had enough. He has to help himself and he isn't going to do that sat on her doorstep begging for booze is he?

Have you rung 101 and asked for advice?
You can't have a man sleeping in your garden constantly.
Fucking ridiculous.

midnightagents Mon 04-Aug-14 17:24:47

Its not in ops garden though, its the neighbours. Im not commenting morally one way or the other, just saying technically there is nothing that can be done. I dont particularly like walking past some of the large groups of men/teens who hang round our block but i have to suck it up because they arent breaking the law in anyway, and my fear is most likely irrational.

sarah1985a Thu 07-Aug-14 18:39:42

I would say its ASB, as a tenant his mother has a responsibility for herself and visitors to the property especially with the involvement of drink and drugs. This is what I understand from my tenancy as I have a similar situation. I would go back to the HA and definately call 101 when they are arguing or if he is taking drugs.

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