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DB Long term illness & DParents failing health

(2 Posts)
travellingtime Wed 30-Jul-14 15:32:04

Really not sure if this is teh best place to post this and also not sure where to start.
The basic gist is that my DB has been ill for a long time - we thought a major op last year would improve his situation but it seems not to have had much impact at all and in some ways he is probably worse than he was before.
He has his own flat (semi-sheltered) some 2.5hrs away from where my folks live and lives on various benefits.
He spends a lot of his time living with my folks, who are in their late 60s and retired. Both have thier own health issues which are not life threatening but they are not as fit and active as they were.
Things are taking their toll on them, to a point where I feel they are both depressed and I worry that their health will deteriorate as a result of the situation.
DB has always been a difficult person and has no sense of how his situation impacts on others.
I live 1.5hrs away from my folks and have a job and small children so am limitted in terms of what time I can offer.
Looking at it from a simplistic point of view I feel that DB should surrender his own flat and move nearer to them, so that they can keep an eye on him but not be living with it 24/7. This seems difficult to achieve in reality. There is a concern also that he couldnt cope living independently at the moment.
I feel adult social services should be involved but I dont know how to initiate this, and I suspect the waters are muddied as there would be two different local authorities . Should it be his 'home' social services who we contact or where he is now ie at my folks.
I also have suggested to my parents that they make appointments with their GPs and present themselves as the problem ie that they cant cope with the situation and are not in a position to carry on caring for him long term and see what they suggest.
We are all struggling with what will be the most effective course of action ...anyone got any ideas????

MammaTJ Wed 06-Aug-14 12:56:02

You say he lives in semi sheltered accommodation, try contacting them as a starting point and ask where to go from there.

Maybe ring SS and ask them for input. Although it might be that your DB is where he is as it is the nearest suitable place to your parents!

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