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My cousin died today and need words please

(11 Posts)
Friedbrain Sun 06-Jul-14 16:48:38

My 25 year old cousin died today.

He had a motorbike accident in November and had been in hospital ever since.

I would really like some 'words' or 'poems' I can write in the sympathy card.

I know how it feels to lose someone close as I lost my uncle and grandad

and then within 3 months my grandad and mum, but my mind is blank to what I say

Can anyone help with something I can write in the card.

I have Googled and Googled but just haven't found the 'right' thing...

Also looking at a lovely poem or verse that can be read at the funeral..

Thank you everyone x

MrsCakesPremonition Sun 06-Jul-14 17:12:18

I so sorry for your family's loss. Would something like this be appropriate?
He is gone

You can shed tears that he is gone
Or you can smile because he has lived

You can close your eyes and pray that he will come back
Or you can open your eyes and see all that he has left

Your heart can be empty because you can't see him
Or you can be full of the love that you shared

You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday
Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday

You can remember him and only that he is gone
Or you can cherish his memory and let it live on

You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back
Or you can do what he would want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on.

David Harkin (1959 - )

ancientbuchanan Sun 06-Jul-14 17:14:33

Stop the clocks?

Very very sorry to hear this, such a young life.

Friedbrain Sun 06-Jul-14 17:18:30

Thank you both

Inaminutenow Sun 06-Jul-14 17:19:04

The Dash by Linda Ellis?

Sorry for your loss.

Friedbrain Sun 06-Jul-14 18:11:13

Thank you

ToAvoidConversation Sun 06-Jul-14 18:57:16

I personally wouldn't write a message written by someone else. Write your own even if it's just an acknowledgement that no words can explain your or their loss.


ruby1234 Tue 08-Jul-14 19:33:46

So sorry for your loss.

I like this one:

How Great the Yield From A Fertile Field

by Helen Steiner Rice

The farmer ploughs through fields of green

And the blade of the plough is sharp and keen,

But the seed must be sown to bring forth grain,

For nothing is born without suffering and pain–

And God never ploughs in the soul of man

Without intention and purpose and plan,

So whenever you feel the plough’s sharp blade

Let not your heart be sorely afraid

For, like a farmer, God chooses a field

From which He expects an excellent yield–

So rejoice though your heart is broken in two,

God seeks to bring forth a rich harvest in you

PoppadomPreach Tue 08-Jul-14 19:43:56

I'd be cautious using the poem that MrsCakes suggests as I think that is more applicable to someone who has lived to a good age, and perhaps not to someone who has died young (sorry MrsCakes, it's lovely otherwise). My mum died when she was 58 (so a lot older than your poor cousin) and I felt such anger that she had been taken when she was so young - I don't think I'd want to hear that I should have been celebrating the fact she had lived (at my 94 year old grandfather's funeral, that sentiment was absolutely applicable)

The poem that i think helps (well, it does for me) is "The Ship". I didn't hear of it until years after my mother's death, but it helped.

I'm so sorry for your loss, it's just utterly tragic.

PoppadomPreach Tue 08-Jul-14 19:44:35

sorry, link to the ship

Wetthemogwai Tue 08-Jul-14 19:44:51

I read this at my grandads funeral, it was very fitting for us, may not be so for your family but I loved it from the day he asked me to read it. Sorry for your loss x

Death is nothing at all

I have only slipped away into the next room

I am I and you are you

Whatever we were to each other

That we are still

Call me by my old familiar name

Speak to me in the easy way you always used

Put no difference into your tone

Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow

Laugh as we always laughed

At the little jokes we always enjoyed together

Play, smile, think of me, pray for me

Let my name be ever the household word that it always was

Let it be spoken without effort

Without the ghost of a shadow in it

Life means all that it ever meant

It is the same as it ever was

There is absolute unbroken continuity

What is death but a negligible accident?

Why should I be out of mind

Because I am out of sight?

I am waiting for you for an interval

Somewhere very near

Just around the corner

All is well.

Nothing is past; nothing is lost

One brief moment and all will be as it was before

How we shall laugh at the trouble of parting when we meet again!

Canon Henry Scott-Holland, 1847-1918, Canon of St Paul's Cathedral

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