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Sons father refuses to let me see him.....

(21 Posts)
KHoward Wed 28-May-14 21:53:49

Hi all, I am new to this site, so hope I am posting in the correct thread...

I want to start by saying i am doing this post on behalf of a friend, my own situation is good, myself, my partner and our baby all live happily together.

for the sake of the story, lets call her Mel, her ex/sons father Steve and the son David

Right, from what i know......

Steve has decided, after having David for a weekend, that mel could not have him back. he is refusing ALL access, even phonecalls to talk to her son. on easter she wanted to drop treats/choc round for him and he wouldnt let her, just told her to leave them outside.
she has never had any issues with social services EVER, however, he has. they had to remove David from Steve's house because Steve's friend hit David, after a few days social services let him go back to his dad. Oh i must ad that the dad lives in Gloucester and she lives in Leicester.

she has asked social services for help but they say they dont know enough about her to grant her residency. :/
the police say there is nothing they can do either (tho she hasnt been since David was hit by Steve's friend)

steve reckons he has a solicitor involved that says she cant see david, but im sure thats bull, what solicitor can make rules like that?

anyway, i really want to help her out but i dont know what to suggest, she cant afford a solicitor herself. any advice would be greatly appreciated, if you need to know more just post on this thread and i will ask her....

ExitPursuedByABear Wed 28-May-14 21:56:25

None of that sounds right in any universe.

KHoward Wed 28-May-14 21:59:27

what do you mean? u think I'm making this up?

LaurieFairyCake Wed 28-May-14 22:00:51

Yes, she can afford the free half hour with a solicitor

And she could have done this - who waits almost two months?

AliceDoesntLiveHereAnymore Wed 28-May-14 22:01:34

There are solicitors that offer a free 30-60 minute sessions.

And the problem here is that there are tons of variables. PR, age of child, schooling, social services history... tons of things.

I'd say there's only half a story here, as this is just sounding odd. Have her ring a solicitor for an hour free and get some legal advice.

traviata Wed 28-May-14 22:01:42

she could get herself down to the court house tomorrow and make an application demanding contact and/or residence. She may be exempt from paying fees if she receives certain benefits. She does not need a solicitor.

She should act quickly, but from what you say it has already been over a month? How old is the child?

KHoward Wed 28-May-14 22:03:47

she is going to cotizens advice this week she tells me.
she waited this long because social services keep saying they will come and talk to her about it, but then take 3 months to come round.
ive told her to stop waiting for them and just go via the legal route.

the child is under 10

98percentchocolate Wed 28-May-14 22:04:03

So she had full custody and he had visitation rights at weekends until he decided he didn't want to give David back? Surely that's kidnap?

ExitPursuedByABear Wed 28-May-14 22:05:56

And then the child was assaulted.

Blueuggboots Wed 28-May-14 22:05:59

A strongly worded solicitor's letter at least....but I agree with OP.....who leaves it over a month ???

RandomMess Wed 28-May-14 22:06:55

Unless there is a residency order, no it's not kidnap.

LaurieFairyCake Wed 28-May-14 22:07:11

Not if there was no residency order in place. She needs to file for residency.

Is the child attending school? Why doesn't she just go to the school and get him?

If he's not attending school then social services and the local authority may be interested enough to visit

SqutterNutBaush Wed 28-May-14 22:09:26

Doesn't sit right with me either afraid.

1. Police would have been involved when Steve's friend hit David and worked with Social Services to find out about family life

2. Solicitors can't decide who sees the child, that would be done through the courts and by any means she would have been notified of these proceedings

3. Why hasn't she been to a solicitor to seek advice?

ExitPursuedByABear Wed 28-May-14 22:11:51

Cos it's easier to get a mate to post on a website.

EhricLovesTheBhrothers Wed 28-May-14 22:12:40

She has to go to court. Social services can't grant residence orders.

PleaseJustShootMeNow Wed 28-May-14 23:15:41

How long has this been going on exactly? From what you've posted it looks like he's been gone at least 3 months.

feathermucker Sun 01-Jun-14 01:06:30

Steve has just decided this? Then you said something about Easter......when did this actually happen?

Your story sounds inconsistent, I'm afraid. As in, the information your friend has given you doesn't sound correct.

We need more coherent details......what did the police say?

She's waited this long for SS to come round. I'd have been fucking hammering on the door the same day.

YoureBeingASillyBilly Sun 01-Jun-14 01:10:28

Either we or you or both arent getting the full story from your friend OP.

wafflyversatile Sun 01-Jun-14 01:27:43

Is this a reverse? Was the split recent?

If there is no residency order then this is very similar to what happens a lot but the other way round. Parent, lets call her 'mum' and other parent let's call him 'dad' split up. 'Mum', who so happens to have physical possession of the child, decides not to let 'dad' see the DC. At some point SS are charged with visiting 'mum' for some reason but decide there is not a good enough reason to remove the DC from 'mum'. 'Dad' ends up having to go to court to gain access to DC. While waiting for the court process to trundle along 'mum' still denies 'dad' access to the child.

In this instance it is the dad who had physical possession of the child and decided not to let the mum see the DC.

Either way your friend needs to go down the legal route.

EatShitDerek Sun 01-Jun-14 01:30:51

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MexicanSpringtime Fri 20-Jun-14 22:20:04

She certainly doesn't sound like a very enthusiastic mother.

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