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Work situation - what would you do?

(6 Posts)
Angelwoes Thu 22-May-14 19:05:02

I'm now going back to work soon after mat leave. My ex and I split up for reasons around his drug use and after he hit me (one time) from drug mood swings. We haven't spoken for months and are arguing through solicitors about access. The difficulty is that we work in the same place and I've now been redeployed into his team (no other option).

He's spent a lot of time manipulating the situation to make him look like a victim while trashing me to workmates who now think I am some evil person keeping this "lovely person" away from his child and have used him because I went to the CSA sad I also got "anonymous hate mail" from one of them but I don't know who. Obviously I am outraged about this because he has been awful and what he did . . which drove me to the solicitor . . and I am wondering how to handle this? I can be professional with him and keep my distance, but I am worried about getting the cold shoulder as the newbie because he is very popular and has a very good public face.

Everyone tells me not to let him win . . and I need/like the job. How would you handle this? Tough it out? Tell people what really happened? Keep quiet? (I hate the thought of undeserved negative impressions from keeping quiet sad )

kate1516 Thu 22-May-14 19:25:01

I am so sorry. That sounds horrendous. I think personally I would be looking for another job. I don't like saying that as you shouldn't have to but I don't know if I could work in that environment and remain professional all the time.

kate1516 Thu 22-May-14 19:29:09

Oh also i definitely would not be telling people what really happened. They are not friends they are work colleagues and by telling them your side of the story you are effectively asking them to choose sides. I think it entirely unprofessional of your ex to have done this. If you stay you need to behave impeccably and take the moral high ground. Oh and probably make notes of any discriminatory or inappropriate behaviour ready to take to hr just in case it becomes untenable. I hope it doesn't though.

Angelwoes Thu 22-May-14 19:47:56

I know . . basically he has been going around telling people how I am stopping him seeing lo after she was born, went to the CSA and won't talk to him (omitting all the most important points) to gain sympathy for himself sad Very unprofessional, but he could get away with it as our relationship was "In the public eye" so to speak. .

kate1516 Thu 22-May-14 20:42:44

It soundsawful like. Could you change job easily or will it be hard to find something you like elsewhere?

kate1516 Thu 22-May-14 20:43:43

Sorry awful typing! I did not mean to write like at the end of the first sentence. I am not 15.

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