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tricky situation

(5 Posts)
namechnagedtoprotect Mon 28-Apr-14 08:34:15

hi I have a friend (male if that makes a difference) who is going though a difficult time in his life right now, mostly of his own making. We have been friends for a few years and I have tried to help him out, sort him out when he has got himself into a mess, having a bad time.

Right now I have my own life issues and they are taking up a lot of my emotional resources. I feel like I am letting this friend down by not being able to support him, and have lost my best friend by her saying I wasn't there when she needed me (I think I was having a mini breakdown at the time, but never got a chnace to explain myself) so am very sensitve about loosing more friends as I don't have many. However this friend takes a lot of energy to deal with, iykwim?

What would you do in this situation?

Katisha Mon 28-Apr-14 08:41:43

Sounds like you have a tendency to be friends with peopke who demand a lot of you and drain you, and cant manage to return the supportive favour.
I would say time to put yourself first actually. Don't feel responsible for friends to the extent that it makes your own life worse. Friendships come and go as we go through life.

Appletini Mon 28-Apr-14 08:55:09

I think you are having some issues with co-dependency. Your friends sound like drains, not radiators...

neiljames77 Mon 28-Apr-14 09:00:01

Does your friend know you have your own problems to deal with?

BackforGood Mon 28-Apr-14 09:14:27

I think I would try to say "Sorry, I can't do that due to x/y/z going onin my life at the moment, but I will do a/b/c" so you are showing you still care and you want to help but that you are being sensible about your own time.
Obviously difficult to say what exactly without knowing the situation, which understandably you haven't shared, but it would seem harsh to me to just suddenly pull the rug from a friend needing support.

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