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Dishonest mother. What would you do?

(11 Posts)
lina88 Thu 10-Apr-14 00:26:13


What would you do, if you found out that your mom took money from you and is not even showing a sign of remorse? All she asks is "what're you going to do if i don't give you back your money?"

A few weeks ago, i went out of my way, and borrowed money from my bank to lend my mother who was financially down and needed to start a business. So i had a debt of over 60k from my bank.

A week later, i was to receive some money (30K) from a friend of mine. However on that very week, i was abroad. So i asked my mom to collect the money for me and go pay 15k for my debts and she could keep the rest of the money. I'd pay the rest of the debts myself.

So, as a person who trusted that all went well as planned, i called the bank as soon as i returned to reassure them that i would pay the remaining money as soon as possible. To my surprise, they told me, no dime was paid!

So i called my mom, and she told me she had to keep the money and use it for something else.

So i was very angry and i asked my mom, why she did that. I also reminded her, that i got myself in debts just because i wanted to help her to start up a business. And instead of helping me pay back the money as we had agreed she decided to keep and use it!

I thought she was heartless! I felt cheated. And i told her exactly that!

And she asked me:" What will you do if i don't pay back the money?", "Where will you take me?"

Honestly? I can't trust her. But what should i do

HypodeemicNerdle Thu 10-Apr-14 08:12:07

Considering what an enormous sum of money it is I'd go to the police. Your friend will be able to tell them the money was meant for you and that your mum collected it on your behalf

CbeebiesIsAboutToPop Thu 10-Apr-14 08:15:04

She may be your mum, but she's stollen from you. The line 'what will you do if I don't pay back the money' sounds like she feels just because she's your mum you won't do anything.

I'd also go to the police and report the theft sad

mynamesnotwendy Thu 10-Apr-14 08:15:25

Police and cut contact asap

mynamesnotwendy Thu 10-Apr-14 08:15:47

Oh and stop lending people money

PartialFancy Thu 10-Apr-14 08:19:55

Are you in the US, from your language? Just asking as legal options may be different from the UK advice you're likely to get here.

WanderingAway Thu 10-Apr-14 08:20:53

I would be contacting the police.

She stole 15 thousand pounds from you.

PartialFancy Thu 10-Apr-14 08:21:26

However, go to the police is good advice wherever you are!

Cindy34 Thu 10-Apr-14 08:57:50

Do you and your mum have the same name? Did she cash a cheque / bankers draft which was not in her name - or did your friend have 30K in cash?

If cash, then report to police as theft.
If cheque, then report to police and cheque issuing bank as fraud - though does your mum have any documentary evidence to say that you gave her the money?

She is family but if you have no hope of having that money back, it is theft or fraud, so whilst you may not want to report your mum to the authorities, unless you do, what is to stop her doing it again to someone else.

Kewcumber Thu 10-Apr-14 09:06:05

Do you have any evidence at all she took the money and was supposed to pay it in? Email/text her so you have something in writing, saying "You took £15k that was supposed to be paid into the bank which you have 5 working days to pay across as we agreed. You also owe me £60k which as agreed is payable in installments of £x over a 5 year period and I expect repayments to begin on Y.

Wait until you have a response (which if your mother is as dishonest and uncaring as she sounds will say "no idea what you're talking about") then go to the police.

And unless you have some documentation of the £60k "loan" I have a horrible feeling you have just given your mother a £60k gift.

Don;t loan people money of these life changing amounts without a lawyer being involved and security. What would you have done if you mum had been hit by a bus a week after taking all this money?

Kewcumber Thu 10-Apr-14 09:07:01

If you're american I'd suggest Judge Judy but her max is $5k so even that wouldn;t help.

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