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So very worried about how my friend is living her life…

(7 Posts)
walker5 Wed 02-Apr-14 16:15:12

I have a friend who is a benefit cheat and is now getting a free boob job on the nhs because she has real psychological problems….??
She has been on job seekers and ESA for the past few years and has told me many times ‘I don’t want a job.’ This didn’t seem so bad at the time as she was at least going to college/uni so she wouldn’t have to be a shelf stacker. But she dropped out.
Now she is living back with her ex (who is probably only with her because benefits he often steals from both her and her child, cheats , lies, ect ect) he makes twice as much as my husband and they are claiming as if she is still a single mom. (so its not as though they are barely able to live without cheating)
Him living with her is so much worse than benefit cheating, and free boob jobs (if he didn’t make her feel like she was worthless would she still want one?)
I have tried talking to her 100s of times about both him, about how she might get caught cheating the system (she has a lot of enemies because of him and she post this all to facebook –sigh-)
A part of me I will admit is jealous of her getting so much money , we struggle. But she can have every single penny if it meant I had to live with him. I think her self esteem is so low she feels like she has no choice. I have tried to get her to see a therapist or something…. She does not want to admit anything’s wrong until it is and then all is forgiven in a few days (or hours) .
I'm partially worried now as her child is now old enough to copy and think this is normal way to behave. (thinking that your only as good as daddy tell you. you are, raging fights, stealing money ect) And she has just announced that she wants another baby to him.
I'm so worried about my friend for all of the reasons above and so much more ( not unless you want to read a novel)
I'm out of ideas of how to talk sense in to her. What would you do?

meditrina Wed 02-Apr-14 16:17:47

Bingo is rarely original enough to be funny.

But perhaps RL bingo would make a nice hobby to stop you fretting?

chloemartin1 Wed 02-Apr-14 16:17:57

Friend or not, I would be reporting her fraudulent activities

walker5 Wed 02-Apr-14 16:52:33

Its not so much that she is doing all of the above (benefit cheating, boob jobs, letting her self and her child be treated so badly) its that she is doing this all for him.
And if anything goes wrong he will just walk away (again) and leave her to deal with the mess. I knew her before she met him and I would give anything to have her back to how she was.

Isabelle12 Thu 03-Apr-14 05:45:43

I'd be more than tempted to report her, and I say that in-part for her own longer term good. At the very least, she'd probably manage to get rid of this loser guy, and no doubt she'd be a far better person for that. Even if you did report her, she needn't know it was you, since she's already made lots of enemies due to her partnership with the guy.

LEMmingaround Thu 03-Apr-14 05:52:08

Do they have a 50" tv and a goat?

Dinnaeknowshitfromclay Thu 03-Apr-14 06:02:28

Will the surgeon make her boobs so big the goat will be able to stand on them for a better view of the telly screen (50inch plasma) ?

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