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In laws coming to visit

(12 Posts)
chattychattyboomba Tue 11-Mar-14 22:48:21

I am due to give birth to DC2 at the end of May. DH's parents are due to visit us (they live abroad) end of June. That would mean bub would be roughly 1 month old.

They have booked 8 weeks to come to the UK.
At first I didn't think much of it but now starting to think 8 weeks in an awfully long time to have them stay with us. Especially with a new born and a toddler. (DD1 will be 3 next month)

I think they have mentioned a desire to do a few trips around Europe maybe Paris for a couple of weeks possibly.

I get along with them ok. They are very different to me and my family though. I would say I can be feisty, outspoken, forthright. I don't hold back. Although their idea of an 'altercation' is me getting a bit annoyed and walking away in a huff (HA!) They are non confrontational, but can be very judgemental behind closed doors. Quite conservative and not as open minded shall we say. DH's mum also has very little patience for DD despite being a primary school teacher for many years. She says she doesn't know how to 'deal' with her (she's got a bit of pizazz like her mummy wink)

So I suggested to DH maybe we could rent them an apartment nearby. We have 3 bedrooms but since DH works I usually stay in the spare room with baby when doing night feeds etc. this won't be possible with them around. DH says no way to apartment idea, that's horrible wouldn't think of it etc. I'm not sure if I should be more concerned and push for a compromise, or if I should just go with the flow and not rock the boat. What would you do?

RandomMess Tue 11-Mar-14 22:50:40

Apartment idea def the way to go. Remind him that his parents won't want to suffer the sleepless nights with you and it means they've got somewhere to go to have a break from your DD, have a lie in etc.

RandomMess Tue 11-Mar-14 22:51:12

Is DH going to sleep on the sofa everynight whilst you have baby co-sleeping with you?

chattychattyboomba Tue 11-Mar-14 22:54:59

Good points there. I suppose it's hard to know how we'll cope all together until it actually happens but that's some food for thought. DH might say he'll be fine being woken but then struggle... Plus I am a dragon without sleep and I dread to think what they'll make of me when I start getting growly with DH lol

zipzap Tue 11-Mar-14 22:58:26

I would push him on the 'well where exactly are they going to sleep then, if you're in here, I'm in the spare room doing night feeds and dd is in her own bedroom? We don't have anywhere else for them to sleep and they can hardly sleep on the sofa!!'

His parents - his problem - or at least at this stage it is, but make sure you really hammer it home that if it is for 8 weeks then it needs to be a reasonable solution because 8 weeks of all of you sleeping badly for whatever reason is going to end up with massive arguments and problems!

RandomMess Tue 11-Mar-14 22:59:56

It will be far more like a holiday for the PIL if they have elsewhere to stay. Also means dh can dd there sometimes whilst you have rest/catch up nap etc.

I think as long as you are bright and breezy and about your generous gift of the apartment so they get to relax and enjoy there break over with you then they'd have to have huge issues to be offended.

chattychattyboomba Tue 11-Mar-14 23:13:21

Zip zap, I think DH presumes the baby and I will be in with him- and assumes it will all be fine... I like to cover all of the hypothetical scenarios whereas he's more of a 'it will all work out on the day' kind of guy. (He calls it being optimistic, I call it being unrealistic) Don't think he's accepting how that will actually impact us all. Glad you can both see what I thought though- that it is quite a while.

UniS Tue 11-Mar-14 23:22:40

My parents no longer stay with their child who lives abroad and has unpteen children in a small house. They now rent an apartment in the nearest town and have MUCH nicer visits. Everyone benefits , the kids don't have to tiptoe round "grumpy grampy" early morning, grampy can retreat to the flat when its all just a bit LOUD, BiL doesn't have to see grampy drinking wine ( which BiL disapproves of). Granny can "entertain " the granddaughters to tea at the flat and have non boy time.

ThePartyArtist Mon 17-Mar-14 13:10:50

Definitely go for an apartment - it's mutually beneficial as they get their own space and more of a holiday. Try Air B n B.

Chottie Mon 24-Mar-14 05:57:29

Please for your own sanity book them an appartment or B&B. 8 weeks is a very long time to have anyone staying in your home......

youmustbejoking75 Mon 24-Mar-14 22:36:11

8 my title says

toffeeboffin Sat 12-Apr-14 23:58:53

8 weeks!!!

The in-laws stayed with us for 3 days when DS wasn't even a week old - this was enough, believe me! They will drive you up the wall - the apartment idea is best for you and them.

Ask DH what he would think of 8 weeks if it was your parents coming to stay....

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